CRYPTO: Infidelity (Book 1)

CHAPTER 1: DEPRESSION

I screamed at the top of my lungs into the vastness of the wilderness, exploding a bush in the distance (I still didn't have much control of my power). I always came to the same place to blow off some steam. I used to be able to walk there from my house, but since I moved to live with my uncle, I had to take my car. I had parked it on the side of the road and walked a distance from the street so nobody would be able to hear or see me.

In my paw, I held the gun I had stolen from Uncle Blade's dresser as I thought about all the things that led me to this moment.

My parents' recent death sent me into a deep depression and caused me to turn my back on God. They were believers, but I couldn't forgive God for taking them so soon. Even though I was an independent teenager, I still felt like I needed their support and advice.

Uncle Blade did his best to cheer me up. After all, he kinda knew how I felt since, when I lost my dad, he lost his brother. I knew what he would say if he were here with me: "Don't do it, Crypto. You're still young. You have so much to live for." Did I though? Both my friends were going to marry their girlfriends. I pretended to be happy for them, but I really wasn't. I knew them getting married meant we wouldn't be able to hang out much anymore, and we would be graduating soon and they would be preoccupied with college and work. I didn't have a girlfriend or a job, and I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life. It made me feel like a loser.

Tears streamed down my face as I thought about all the good memories I had with my parents and friends and thought about how all the good times would be gone forever. I thought about how awful my future would turn out to be if I were still on this earth. I would probably be homeless and alone and miserable. So miserable. Just like how I was now. I just wanted it to be over.

I put the gun to my head and closed my eyes. It would hopefully be a quick death and I wouldn't feel a thing. As my nail pressed lightly against the trigger, I hoped my parents were wrong about the afterlife. I didn't want to suffer like this in hell for all eternity just because I turned away from God.

I held my breath, but I just couldn't do it. If there was a chance my parents were right, even a one percent chance, I didn't want to take it.

I threw the gun as far as I could and yelled in frustration. I was angry at myself, angry at my parents, angry at my friends, and angry at God.

"Are you happy now?!" I shouted at the sky. "You took everyone I love away from me but You won't let me die in peace! You've made it very clear You want me to suffer! ... I don't know why I'm even talking to You. I don't believe in You. Even if I did believe, You probably wouldn't listen to me. I'm just a nobody."

When I was done letting my emotions out, I searched for the gun, brought it back to my car, and drove back to Uncle Blade's house.

It was still daylight when I drove into the parking lot. Uncle Blade must have been back because his car was already parked in front of the house.

"Hey, Cryp," he said when I walked in. "Where you been?"

I forcefully handed the gun to him without a word and headed to my room.

"Is this my gun? What were you doing with my gun?" he asked.

I shut the door behind me and climbed into bed.

Uncle Blade knocked on my door. "Crypto, you didn't kill anyone, did you? I told you this gun is for self-defense only!"

I stayed silent.

"Crypto?" he said as he slowly opened the door. "You couldn't do it, could you. Well, I'm glad. It gets lonely around here without you. I don't want to lose my brother and my nephew in the same year."

I covered my face in my pillow and groaned.

"I'm gonna lock my gun up somewhere safe so this doesn't happen again. See? I'm a good uncle. I'll even call a counselor if you want. Do you want me to call a counselor?"

"I want you to leave me alone," I said.

"Okay. I can do that. I'll just go ahead and do that now." He shut the door.

My phone dinged and I picked it up. There were a few missed texts. My friends wanted to have a bonfire the night after our graduation party. I didn't want to go, but I didn't want them to think something was wrong so I texted back:

"Sounds great! I'm in!"