Distant star

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Why do I even call you my friends?

I'm never the person you choose first.
Or second.
Or even the one you think to call
when everyone else is busy.

And maybe that shouldn't hurt
as much as it does,
but it does.

Because I know
that if any of you needed me,
I would stay.
Every single time.

But somehow
I am always standing
at the edge of things,
watching memories happen without me.

And I keep wondering
if my absence would feel as small to you
as my presence already does.

Maybe that is why
I feel so much like a distant star—

not because I shine,
but because people only notice stars
once they are already gone.

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