Jensoo- Love Inevitably

"Jennie"

JENNIE'S POV

"Then what is it? what is your reason Jen cause I can't really understand why you have to do it over and over again even if you knew from the start that you'll only end up hurt and disappointed?" Irene asked and I sighed, wiping my tears with my hands trembling. It took me moments before I could answer her with my voice not breaking.

"It's just that, whenever she's drunk, it's the only time she's brave enough to bare her heart to me."

"It's the only time I can hear her say, I love you.."

"It's just three words Unnie..but it's everything to me.."

"So tell me Unnie, can you blame me?

"When it's the happiest and most alive I had ever felt?"

For a few minutes there was an uncomfortable silence between us and I can see Irene murmuring to herself. She's tired from the long flight, frustrated and worried at the same time and I do understand her disappointment.

Aside from Ahjumma Jung, she's been like a second mother to me who never failed to to take care and look for my welfare and happiness and I can't blame her for being pissed at the situation I am currently in.

Unnie is the most decisive person I know.

She's very certain with the options and decisions she choose. She never liked the feeling of being trapped in between or that feeling of getting mixed signals. She really can't stand that kind of person. And I do get her frustration cause I know she really hates seeing me suffer like that.

Unnie finally broke the awkward silence that surrounded them and what she conveyed to me made me well up in tears.

"Jennie Ruby Jane Kim.. you are my sister. The only one I have in my life and seeing you like this really breaks my heart."

"You know I love Jisoo for you..And up until now I still do."

"But hell, Jen, I don't want you to live like this, settling and giving your all to a person who can't even decide if you're worth a shot or not."

"Do you get what I mean? I'm not saying that she's a coward but I don't like it when she's showing you all her love only to say that she's still not ready yet in the end."

"I don't want you to always end up hurt and hoping for something that she can only give when only she's ready because that bullshit is so fuckin unfair on your part, Jennie." she said with such emphasis and I have never seen Irene this extremely mad that her voice cracked and her eyes were now threatening to shed tears.

It's rare for Irene to be like that..

"You got your heart broken before too, and you still have all your traumas and demons that you're still dealing but here you are, not afraid to offer your heart to her.. So why can't she just do the same for you Jen?"

"That's what frustrates me the most cause I know how much Jisoo loves you, there's no doubt about that. It's just that...., I just can't understand why she's so damn scared to even try." Irene muttered but her demeanor turned soft when she noticed me looking down, with my eyes now bloodshot with tears. She held my cheeks, wiping my tears with her thumb and warmly tucked me in a comforting hug that I didn't know I needed.

"I'm so sorry Jen.. I guess I crossed my line. It's still your life and happiness after all." Irene whispered apologetically as she pats my back for comfort but I just shook my head and finally looked at her.

"No Unnie, you are right. It's true.. I guess I love her too much to risk getting my heart get broken again.." I smiled bitterly at her.

"But like what I said and will say even for a thousand times, it's all worth it.. She's all worth it."