decisions (n.)
a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.
CHECKMATE #4
"world-changing decisions are hard to make, but learning you have to sacrifice is even harder."
Life has gone back to normal in the Adelaide Woods five years after t...
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track #05 in cadence aurora di angelo
stayc // run2u
"CHOOSE ME," I repeat amidst the chaos of people screaming over each other.
"Cadence, are you crazy or something?" Zoey asks, peeling herself away from Kunboss and coming over to inspect me. I push her away, and she frowns.
I cross my hands. "No."
"Look, this is something we have to discuss-" Aiden says, raising his hands in defeat, and Eunice nods. "
"No. I already said, choose me," I practically yell, wrestling him away when he comes closer.
Laine raises an eyebrow. "But why, Cadence? Why? It could easily be me instead. Everyone here cares so much about you. Why'd you want to put them through the pain?"
"That's not true," I retort. "These people and you are all the same age. You've known each other practically since kindergarten. Don't you understand, I never fit in here. I'm just a kid amongst seven adults. That's all I am. There's nothing more to me than that. You guys have known me five years – have known Laine for almost fifteen, or even more than that for y'all whose parents are close friends. Stop arguing."
Zoey, the person who I feel I can confide in the most, carefully lowers herself onto the couch and takes my hands in hers with an iron grip I can't shake off. "Cadence, listen. We care about you, and we care about Laine too. But we have to discuss this. It's more than just a death threat," she says softly.
"CHOOSE ME!" I scream. "HOW IS IT SO HARD TO CHOOSE ME TO DIE? STOP TELLING ME YOU CARE ABOUT ME. NO ONE DOES."
"Cady-" Zoey tries again.
I stand up, pulling my hands free from hers. "Okay. You guys want to know why, I'll give you an explanation. Then stop bothering me."
They all look at me expectantly. "IT'S BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES ME ANYMORE!" I shriek. "Laine has a brother, her friends, her parents, her classmates. Everyone adores her for her work ethic and well, even her annoyingness. Now look at me. I'm nothing but a misfit, and don't try to 'talk sense into me', Zoey. I lost my best friend ages ago. I lost my family – they don't even talk to me anymore. I even lost my soul. I'm a ghost," I whisper, tears streaming down my face.
"You all sympathise for me, I get it. But that's just because five years ago, I was a cute, sunshiney twelve-year-old. Life has taken its toll on me, Gwyneth," I say, staring directly into her silently protesting eyes. "I've thought of ending it more than once. Not just because of Rylie. Because no one in this world would truly understand me. Maybe Anson was your world, maybe Ava was yours," I smile bitterly, looking at the two boys in question, who merely smile back. "Rylie was more than my world. He was everything I am. Without him, the stars would never have aligned in my universe. Cadence Aurora di Angelo no longer exists. So when I say choose me, I mean it."
