decisions (n.)
a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.
CHECKMATE #4
"world-changing decisions are hard to make, but learning you have to sacrifice is even harder."
Life has gone back to normal in the Adelaide Woods five years after t...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
track #01 in cadence aurora di angelo
newjeans // hurt
TO EVERYONE, Cadence di Angelo was hurt. I amhurt.
I'm different from who I was before, simply because I've lost the person who would support me fully no matter what I did – no matter smiles or cries; no matter sun or rain.
I could describe my life before the Hunger Games – before I lost him forever – as a bright place where sunshine flooded the earth, illuminating every precious moment. But now, without Rylie, my life is basically just a dark void of nothingness. People used to call me Cadence Aurora di Angelo. I loved my name, yet now I despise it.
The thing is, even if my name sounded nice, Aurora no longer existed to me anymore. Sunlight no longer fitted my once bright and bubbly personality – all that was left was a hollow shell of who I used to be. What's better to describe my life without Rylie, than darkness, gloom and emptiness?
Every day, I miss Rylie. You may tell me my dead best friend would only haunt me in my dreams – but no. Never. Rylie Ashton isn't the ghost who haunted me before the revivals. He isn't the person whom I lamented, drawing images of his death. He isn't the one who blamed me for not being able to save him in time.
Rylie is my best friend and soul brother, and that never changes even when we're separated by the living and the dead. He's in heaven, and I'm in the world of the living; yet he's still here for me, even more so than people who actually are on Earth.
He died in a fatal car crash more than two years ago, and still, every day, he appears in my mind.
Rylie tells me, "Forget me, Cady. Move on. I'm still here in spirit, but you can't stay stuck living in the past forever," unlike how his spirit had previously blamed me for trying to make things right with the other victors. I don't know why, but somehow I think Rylie's constant blaming would be better than this.
I could never forget Rylie.
Every time I see Gwyneth and Kunboss goofing around although they're adults, all the times where Rylie and I did our best friend handshakes, the cackling laughter... come back to me. And most of all, myself and my piercing screams, wriggling in the medical worker's arms right after the crash, begging them to bring Rylie back.
He never deserved it.
Rylie is gone, and every time I close my eyes, his still-thirteen-year-old self, frozen in time, cracks a smile at now sixteen-year-old me.
"Go, Cady. I'll be here. You can look back at me, but please move on."
But this time, I don't wanna be the one to get hurt.
