A Court of Stars and Memories

19. Dreams and Daemati

    Mitsi sat awake in her room, unable to fall asleep. She drew her knees to her chest with a sigh and rested her chin atop them. The past few days had been so much better than the previous ones, and yet... She hadn't seen much of Lysander since he first took her and Mina to the orphanage, and when she did see him, he barely spoke.

    Mitsi had questioned Eira about his behavior, but the female hadn't noticed anything unusual. Eira assured her that she'd done nothing wrong and Lysander was probably just "in one of his moods" as she called them, but Mitsi didn't really believe her.

    After all, he was fine before we played that game, Mitsi thought to herself. Did I embarrass him or make him uncomfortable? Is that why he's been avoiding us? She sighed again, then swung off the bed and sat down at the desk. She pulled a half-finished letter towards herself and took up a pen.

    Mitsi resumed explaining the events of her week to Colette. She'd left off with her last visit to Windhaven, in which Eira and Orion had officially introduced her to Devlon and Jorah.

    She'd described Devlon as gruff and intimidating, and while Jorah seemed to have a no nonsense attitude, she wasn't unkind and clearly had a large handle on Devlon's own behavior. Mitsi still couldn't figure out why Micah got along with the male, or what they did together aside from training.

    Mitsi rested her cheek against her knuckles briefly as she prepared her next words. Then, she began to write about her last trip to the orphanage. She had arranged to start visiting every other day now, and the Mistress seemed very pleased with the idea.

    The children were always happy to see her and the Mistress had already entrusted her with taking the youngest group out for a walk. Each of them had given Mitsi every handful of leaves they could find when she revealed that she'd never seen colorful leaves before coming to the Night Court.

    The leaves were now stashed in a jar right beside her, still smelling of dust and sunlight. She couldn't describe their scent any other way. Once she'd said all there was to tell on that topic, she switched to explaining her current issue. If anyone would understand the way she felt, it was Colette.

    Hopefully her mother would have some advice she could follow to set things right. Mitsi bit her lip and set her pen down, massaging her forehead wearily. She must've done something wrong. Why else would Lysander avoid her? Her cheeks burned with shame and she pushed the letter away.

    She crawled back in bed and grabbed Bongo from his perch on a pillow. Mitsi held the old toy close, her shame only growing. How stupid of her to embarrass herself like that, and him as well. And now she was pathetically clinging to a stuffed animal for comfort. No one else her age would do so. Mina certainly wouldn't.

    If their father were around, he would've burned Bongo years ago. He'd always threatened to when she was a child. It was a miracle he hadn't acted upon his threats. Mitsi squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to push the thoughts aside. She failed miserably, and her mind didn't quiet, even when she was drawn into a fitful sleep.

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    She was running through snowy streets, the ice beneath the snow threatening to trip her with every step. She reached for her sister's hand, but found nothing. She was alone.

    No, not alone, she realized as an angry voice hollered her name. She ran faster, her breath coming in short gasps. She clutched her toy tighter as if it could give her strength.

    She could see her cousin's estate just ahead. If she could reach it, she'd be safe. Her siblings were already there. She watched as they sprinted through the gate and collapsed onto the snow banks with relief.