Fallen for you (taejin bts fanfic)

27

THIRD POV

Seokjin paces back and forth in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil enough to put the ramyeon in. He's cooking.

It's all he can do while he waits for the rest of the members and their staff to locate Taehyung.

How did I not see him leaving?

Another wave of self-accusatory thoughts is readying itself to engulf his brain yet it's all flushed down the drain when his concern and worry overpower it.

I hope he's okay.. Pls be okay.

It's all he's been hoping for.

He knows that things were bound to go downhill after the tragedy in December. He knows that Taehyung fell deeper since then. And it hurt the older how strong and composed Taehyung was making himself out to be. But it made him more afraid too because he didn't know if and how he should approach the younger one about it all.

He had tried on multiple occasions. And they had all ended the same way. Either Taehyung had shut him out completely or shut him up with kisses. He didn't mind the kisses but he felt hurt.

And on those days, he'd laid awake for hours in the dead of the night wondering if this relationship, this thing they had, was something unnecessary and a rather distraction, hindrance, to Taehyung's recovery and life.

It went even further than that when a heart-aching thought came to him. What if this meant much less to the younger than what it meant to the older? Seokjin was in love but what if Taehyung wasn't? What if this 'infatuation' of the latter was only a distraction, a coping mechanism, of his brain?

The singer had cried himself to sleep that night.

Seokjin knew that the younger wasn't doing it on purpose. But it still hurt. He understood Taehyung was hurting way worse. But that didn't mean he couldn't hurt too right? Did Seokjin really have the right to be hurting or acknowledge it when his soulmate was a hair's breadth away from completely falling apart?

And the guilty, accusatory thoughts come back.

Seokjin sighs as he leans forward to clutch the kitchen counter. He's shaking by now and he thanks the heavens that his dongsaengs aren't here to witness him falling apart.

He wonders. He wonders if maybe he was just a best friend to Taehyung then maybe Tae would've opened up?

But he hasn't even talked to Jimin..or Kook..

Oh.

Maybe because he thinks that I'll feel bad that he isn't opening up to me but rather to his friends. Maybe he thinks I'll get hurt.

That's stupid. If Taehyung really thinks that then he's stupid. But Seokjin thinks he, me myself and I, is worse.

But why not me? Because we're more than best friends? WHY

Seokjin is growing frustrated. His thoughts don't make sense. This situation doesn't make sense.

Nothing makes sense. Perhaps if they were nothing, it'd make sense. But you don't chose to feel something especially something as independent and volatile as Love. That stupid emotion has a mind of its own.

But he had tried hadn't he? Tried to hide it, tried to endure it. It was killing him but at least Tae was okay?

So you think everything started because of you?

Seokjin stills at the thought. Then he shakes his head.

Ah cmon Jinnie, you're not that important. Don't be so selfish and narcissistic.. Don't make this about you.