Fallen for you (taejin bts fanfic)

4

The oldest had been pushed more towards the dark hollow pit of thoughts ever since he had read the comments. A doubt was a compulsory touch in everything Seokjin would think about. The questions were coming at him with a ferocious speed, pushing him deeper into the depths of the isolated, pressured bed of the sea.

He would sometimes sleep on that bed and the thoughts would wander being filled with guilt, doubt, hopelessness, water filling the lungs with pained inhalations of it.

It had been months since it had admitted to himself that he had fallen. Fallen for someone who could possibly never love him the way he did. And ever since, his life was a mixture of dark colors with tints of the vibrance shades of hope and serenity.

The colors of tenbrosity were dominant in the canvas of his life after his discovery of the poison called love, he had drank so carelessly. The fluorescent colors cast the corners and spaces in the canvas. And the masterpiece that would be formed was pessimistically beauteous.

The older felt like he was in heaven when he would be Kim taehyung. Seeing the younger would be like a psychedelic drug. His surroundings would disappear and he would feel like bubbles of bright colors exploding around him, deluging him. He would feel the drum of his heart play at a very fast tempo when the younger would be close to him and his sensory neurons would shut down with no warning.

And in recent days, the intensity of it was increasing at an unhealthy rate. And the after-effects would be evidently poignant. His inability to express his love and care for the younger freely and fully, would embitter him.

He wished he could have Taehyung all to himself, he wished to shower him with solicitude and compassion until the younger was drowned in warmth and security. He wished to not have to control his emotions and actions when around the younger.

Then would come the menacing guilt that would forcefully yet willfully push the older towards the brink of the heighted ledge. It wasn't anyone but himself who would tell him that the entire situation he was in was unacceptable. It would be the same thoughts that would taunt him.

He was confused as to what he should do to solve this dilemma. He couldn't understand the next step because he was oblivious of the ones before. He didn't realise he had fallen in so deep.

Seokjin let out a frustrated sigh as he combed through his hair. He was with his silent yet entertaining friend. The ceiling. He stared, like he would on many similar nights, at it in a way as if he hoped it would give him the answers he was desperately searching for.

Maybe I should stop loving him, he thought to himself.

But how the hell do you do that? He asked himself.

Stay away from him...it's the best option. He told himself.

And so this was what he ended up deciding on. He couldn't keep his feelings for Taehyung to himself and it would eventually end up ruining the strong bond they had now. He couldn't confess either because what if Taehyung didn't feel the same? I mean how could he? The younger loved him as an older brother, a member of his family. It was so clear from everything.

What if Taehyung and Jungkook were together? The fans wanted them together. The members could see it crystal clear. Heck! Seokjin, himself, wanted those two to be together before this craziness fell upon him or more like he fell into.

And Considering how caring the younger was, the older couldn't possibly afford to make the younger feel guilty for not returning the same kind of love.

After illogically logical thinking, he decided he would create distance between the two of them. It would slowly kill Seokjin but he would revive himself. He had to. For his sake, for taehyung 's. He would suppress his feelings until it would be gone.

He would be hell for him. An ordeal. And only lord knew if he would be able to pull through it. But this had to be done.

Seokjin slipped into a restless slumber, determined to put his new plan into action.

The heavens above sadly laughed at the ironically melancholic future that lay ahead.

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a/n: Sorry for the short chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! And If guys ever feel confused about what's going on, feel free to ask me. And Pls vote, comment, it would mean a lot to me.

Also, I have a new book (I feel embarrassed at how many times I have done this) called "273 DAYS", it is not a fanfiction but still check it out.

And If you don't know about my other works, I have another book called "Stranger to myself" Yoongi fanfic. So check that out as well if you want.

And i'm here for you, if you need someone. Stay strong! Have a good day or night! Love ya! Annyeong!