Fallen for you (taejin bts fanfic)

22

4000 words

"I promise to heal you with the love you can't give yourself"

THIRD POV

"What do you think?" Hoseok asked Yoongi.

"Based on what he told us, it could be a variety of things." Yoongi answered, his eyebrows knitted together. "PTSD, anxiety...even depression but I ain't a professional...none of us are. So let's not make any claims yet,".

"Yeah but we can have a psychological evaluation right?"  Seokjin spoke.

"Yeah we sure can and I think that's the only way to go about it," Namjoon stated.

They all sat in silence, yet again, after that. There were still many questions and still a lot to discuss but it all felt very surreal.

The bright goofy young boy's, they had seen grow up, light had been dimmed and they didn't even know how. 

It's funny how they thought they knew the depth of Taehyung's struggle. But truthfully they'd been blind. In a way they had reassured themselves that nothing major was wrong. And maybe it wasn't.

But maybe it was.

__________

Taehyung laid in his bed facing the ceiling, the maknae on his right side and the oldest maknae on his left side. His eyes were open and he felt relaxed but there was an ache in his chest.

Jungkook and Jimin were silently observing him and Taehyung was well aware of that and it made him think.

What are they thinking?

It was obviously something related to him or was that a too self upholding thought? He really didn't know. Or more so he didn't want to think any further along the lines of doubt.

Because if he did, he knew he would be drowning in a sea of confused, dubious, self degrading thoughts. And he really didn't want that.

But he dived anyway.

They must be worrying..the hyungs..soekjin hyung..Kookie..Jimine..

And I made them worry..

Taehyung let out a sigh.

I should've kept my mouth shut..denied what Jimin had said..they know..wait shit..they know..

And it had dawned on him that they knew. They knew about his worries, his troubles, and what went on his head. He didn't know why but he felt guilty for talking to them suddenly. He couldn't help but welcome the steady increase in the poisonous thoughts.

His heart sped up and he could feel a lump in his throat.

One thing repeated in his head like a mantra.

They know

They know

They know

All he could think, suddenly, was that they knew and that he'd made them worry. He didn't know why, he didn't know most things these days, but he was feeling so weird and suffocated.

I should've kept my mouth shut

I should have

I should have

They know

I made them worry

A repeat of the same thoughts playing in his head like a broken record and he couldn't seem to find a way to turn it off.