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THIRD POV

He didn't hear his hyung's voice or the maknae's worried voice asking him if he was okay as he stared off into nothing. Only when he was harshly shaken was he brought back to reality.

He looked Around to see Yoongi and Jungkook looking at him concerned while the seats in the front were empty and the door of the van was open. They had arrived at the hotel.

Taehyung took a shaky breath as he put his phone in his pocket and moved out his seat to exit the van. He didn't wait for the others or his security guard as he rushed to the hotel back entrance, the screaming of his fans not reaching his distant mind at all.

His eyes impatiently searched for their manager Hobeom. Taehyung saw him approaching with a questioning look on his face, obviously wondering why taehyung was here alone.

"Taehyung-ssi, what-".

"Hyung Please can you tell me my room number and give me my key card," Taehyung cut him off.

"Um okay sure," Hobeom said uncertainly as he took out the key card and gave it to the younger boy who was shaking. "Are you okay taehyung-ah?". Hobeom asked worriedly.

"Yes hyung, I'll be going now. Thank you," Taehyung said with a small forced smile and bowed before he left for the elevator.

Hobeom simply stared at the disappearing figure of taehyung as the younger entered the elevator.

By now, the other members had arrived. Confusion was in the air you could say as they all wondered about why taehyung was acting so strange.

"He just went to his room, but he didn't seem alright", Hobeom said knowing the members would ask where taehyung was. "Did something happen?".

"No, nothing happened in the van hyung. But he did space out," Jungkook replied.

"Before that he got really happy when he was looking at his phone but then his mood dropped and he almost looked like he was crying," Yoongi said adding.

"Wait really?", Hoseok asked surprised.

"Do you guys have any idea what he was looking at?", Hobeom asked wanting to get a hold of the story.

"No, maybe comments? Idk, i can't be sure," Yoongi replied.

"Okay well we'll just ask him tomorrow but one of you make sure to get his luggage to him okay?" Hobeom said as they all simply nodded in understanding.

"I'll get it to him," Jin said.

"Thank you very much seokjin-ssi and here are your key cards. You're all on the same floor. You are free tomorrow until 7 pm. We'll be leaving for the airport at 7;30 p.m. is everything clear? ". Hobeom said, looking at the six boys as he gave them their key cards and they nodded their heads yet again in understanding.

"Ah jimin are you sure you're alright," Hobeom said as he gave him his key card.

"Yes hyung," Jimin said with a small smile.

"Good, if there is any problem, don't hesitate to come to me or any other staff member or any of the boys, okay?".

"Yes hobeom hyung I know." and with that they all left to go to their rooms while Jin's heart pounded not knowing what was wrong with taehyung.

Taehyung, on the other hand, stood in front of the bathroom mirror with tears falling emotionlessly down his face. He was crying. He knew that. But his face was blank, ridden of any emotion as was his mind of any thought.

He gripped the sinks side tightly as he breathed in and out unsure of what he should do. He wanted to scream. He wanted to sob. He wanted to ask. Inquire. Why was this happening to him?

How could this happen? His friend was dead. Gone. He killed himself. What was he supposed to do? Cry? Sob? Mourn?

But he refused to do all that. He refused it in his head and he understood it was denial. It was him trying to comprehend and cope. Whatever you could call it but Taehyung only understood and realised one thing. He wondered one thing. He called out for one thing

It was unfair.

First his grandmother. Now Ui soo. Who else was next? And whose fault was it? Fate? Life? Destiny?

It couldn't be that random. It couldn't be that simple and easy. That's what he was coming to believe.

Truth was he felt helpless knowing he couldn't save his friend when he clearly knew there was something wrong. He, in a way, blamed himself. He should've tried harder. Maybe he could've stopped him. Maybe he could've prevented it.

And the question that sent him stumbling backwards.

What if it was his fault that Ui soo died?

His eyes widened as he stared back at his reflection. What if he had tried harder? Wouldn't Ui soo be alive right now? If he had tried harder, maybe contacted SM entertainment, called Ui soo's other friends, his family, maybe Ui soo wouldn't be dead right now.

He could've saved him.


He could've saved him.


He could have saved...him.


That's all he could think about. He was already emotionally worn out. He was already vulnerable. He was already losing his sensibility. He was already in the spotlight of pessimism. And so he believed it.

"I could have saved him," Taehyung whispered as tears endlessly fell from his eyes.

"I could have fucking saved him.I could have saved him... I could have saved him! DAMN IT!," Taehyung screamed as he sobbed and sank to the floor.

He believed it.... That it was his fault.

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a/n: so ya double update..sorry for the short chapter..hope you are enjoying..apologies for any mistake..I would really appreciate it if you could vote and comment. I love hearing your thoughts and thank you for 1.8k views! This is all too unreal for me..ilysm..have a good night or day.

If you need someone..i'm right here for you..fighting!

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