Misunderstood

Human Error

A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried." ~ Anonymous

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I fluttered my eyes open due to the bright sun that was beaming into them. I sat up and rubbed my face. I didn't realize I had fallen back to sleep, even though I tried my hardest to not fall back asleep. I looked around, I wasn't in my room. I looked over to the side of me, I was alone. I looked up further into the room and saw Draco sleeping in his chair. I stared at him for a little bit before walking over to the bathroom. My hair was a mess, and I looked like a wreck.

The only thing I remember is that dream. I stared at myself for a while, trying anything to make myself feel ready. What I had was definitely a sign of something. I'm hoping it was wrong, but seeing Carter lay there dead... It really makes me think that it's what is going to happen today. I wanted to just curl into a ball and not be there, but there was no way I would be able to not go. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, trying my best to make it look less... Sloppy. I was still in my clothes from last night, so I quickly made my way back to my own dorm. Once I made it back, I was greeted by a very clingy Siren.

"I'm sorry, love. Are you hungry?" She meowed at me and began to purr. I smiled and walked over to her food bowl, placing some kibble in the bowl. She ran over quickly and began to eat. I slouched down next to her and gave her some pets. I stood up and walked over to my dresser, grabbing some clothes. I didn't realize but as I reached for one of my hangers, my hand was shaking. My breathing started to pick up again, and the world began to cave in.

So many thoughts ran through my head. I leaned over onto my chair and gripped it as hard as I could. Any other pain was better than feeling my chest cave in on itself. I closed my eyes, still counting my breath, but nothing helped. The walls were caving in and I felt trapped. I looked around my room and placed myself near the window.

I could see people flying around with no care in the world. I couldn't keep my breath steady. Even when watching other people fly, the distraction wasn't enough. I stood back up and rubbed my temple, pacing back and forth. The room was getting darker by the second and I felt like I could vomit.

The image of Carter lying lifeless on the floor was just in my head and I couldn't get it out. Tears started forming in my eyes. Soon enough, I looked up at the ceiling and they began to fall. My lips quivered as I began to sob. I continued walking back and forth but nothing was working. I placed my hands on my eyes and I could feel the cold tears running down my face. I placed one hand on my hip and the other on my face. I felt like I could vomit.

I walked around and shook my hands. I'm not ready for today. I placed my hand on my head, my face was hot. I slowly sat down on my bed, my breath shaky. Siren perked from her food bowl and quickly walked over to me. She began to rub all over me, her tail almost caressing my face. I tried my hardest to focus on her and not the anxiety that was filling my body. I closed my eyes and focused more on my breathing. Soon my body was getting relaxed and I started to lessen my anxiety.

I got up and walked back over to my dresser. My hands were still shaky as I reached for my long sleeve shirt. I stopped at the touch of the shirt, taking a breath before grabbing the shirt. I walked into my bathroom, brushed my teeth, and got ready for the day. I placed on my black long-sleeve shirt, and a light pair of jeans. I placed my hair half up and half down, placing a small black bow in the middle. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath again.

I placed on my no-show socks and some black flats. I placed my wand in my waistband and walked back over to Siren. I smiled at her and said goodbye before opening my door and heading to the grand hall. I walked slowly, picking at my nails in the process. I was nervous. I didn't want to see Carter's face. If my dream is right, I don't know what I would think.