Advice For The Christian Girl

Relationship Q & A

This chapter will be answering different questions you may have regarding relationships ❤️

1) Is having a crush/ liking someone a sin?

How did your parents get married then? No, liking someone, and feeling attracted to them romantically within itself is not sinful. It's how God created us. If God has called you to get married then before you marry the person you'll develop feelings for them first.

Those feelings for them will feel like an attraction and a desire to be with them as more than friends. Liking someone or wanting to be with someone isn't a sin but rather God's will and plan. It's how He made us so we can one day get married.

What is sinful is lust.

2) What makes lust so sinful?

Lust is different from love. Let's read what the bible has to say about love:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
ESV
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, they will pass away.

Lust is the opposite of love in a sense. It isn't patient or kind. There are many reasons why lust is sinful. One of them is you stop seeing the person through the eyes as God's creation but as objects. Lust makes you see someone in a way as an object to satisfy your sexual desires but with no love, or care attached.

Love is different. You value and care for the person. With lust, it's self-centred and selfish but love is selfless and patient.

You know you're lusting when your pursuit or desire for that person is uniquely out of being sexually with them. Your main focus is on sexual pleasure or desires rather than building a life with them.

Lusting after someone is sinful but loving and liking someone is good.

3) What to do when you like someone?

-The number one thing is to first pray!

Prayer should always be our response. You talk to God about who you have feelings for and seek Him. You keep open hands to hear what God has to say. You ask God to guide you on whether to be with this person or not.

You do it with a genuine heart to hear God. You won't go to God with an already made decision to keep liking this person but you go open to hear hearing God's yes and no.

- You seek someone wise to help you

Often when we like someone we can be blinded by our feelings. Our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) but the word of God tells us in Proverbs 11:14 that "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.". You take time to talk to a mentor, your parents, an older sister, or a wise friend about the situation and listen to their advice.

Ask God who to go to because not everyone's advice should be exactly what you should follow but God often speaks to us through the wise people in our lives. Be open to listen to what they have to say. They could warn you about the person. They could help you speak to the person or they can even join you in prayer and seeking God regarding the relationship.

- You wait for peace (GOD'S PEACE)

You shouldn't engage in any relationship without at least a conviction of peace. Don't rush into a relationship or grow impatient because you can't hear God. You wait for a feeling of peace. There will be peace in your heart that this is where God is leading you. Wait for the peace