Capture Or Kill

Chapter 16: Behind The Masks

Soap's POV

Price was already telling Kate to track the helicopter that Makarov had escaped on. Everyone looked drained and completely out of it, with no conversation being heard; König, Reyes, and y/n were especially silent, with the latter being motionless. Y/n hadn't said a word since Nova was gunned down by Makarov, only clutching on to her tags so tightly that the part of his fingers not covered by his gloves were white. Ghost has whispered to me to stay with him while he rode with Los Vaqueros, Price, and Gaz. Ghost knew I would be the better choice when it came to compassion, but even my efforts seemed to not work; all I could do was gently hold onto y/n's wrist the entire way. His expression was completely unreadable since the mask Ghost had given him covered his entire face. I was worried because he seemed so mad that no word ever created could describe it, but also sad, broken, stressed, and empty all at once.

We arrived back at base with König carefully lifting the body that had been covered by a sheet and following Alejandro to the back side of the base. Nova would be buried along with the other former members of Los Vaqueros who had been K.I.A., and I stayed with y/n who just got out but didn't move from his spot. Price just gave me a look that read "take care of him, please," and I just gave a gentle nod. Y/n slowly began to walk to where the others had disappeared, leaving just us on the airfield. I gently pulled on his vest, not wanting him to see the burial without me getting to talk to him first.

"Y/n..."

He didn't respond.

"Please...say something." I was worried that this would be the final straw to break his already fragile state. that he would go forever cold and push everyone away, but instead I felt him gently pull his wrist out of my grip and lace our fingers together.

"She would have told me to keep my chin up and get that sonofabitch." His voice was shaking and broken, barely above a whisper.

"We destroyed the target..she didn't die for nothing." I replied, running my thumb along his gloved hand.

"She's dead, Johnny..."

"I'm sorry..."

"She and I had a complicated relationship in the beginning; it's funny because she often didn't want to follow me." I remember when we first met, Nova couldn't believe that I was the person she had to take orders from. "It's strange what kind of relationships we form over time." He whispered.

"She seemed like a good person and soldier."

"She was. She was a good friend too. Nova and I often discussed what would happen if one of us died. "I never liked to talk about it, but she insisted one must be prepared for it, and now here we are."

"What did she want?" I asked.

"S-She wants our team to be strong....she wanted me to be able to be strong."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Y/n couldn't hold back the emotion anymore, pulling off the mask and collapsing onto his knees. I quickly followed, pulling him into a hug, not caring who saw; his muffled cries were all I could hear as he dug his fingers into my vest. With Roach, Longshot, Chimera, and now Nova, emotions piled up and lives were lost. He was shaking, and I just held on tight, never wanting to let go. Simon and I made a promise to Price to keep him, and in the moment I felt helpless. I couldn't bring her back; I couldn't bring Chimera back, but I could be here for him now, and that's what I did.

We sat there for a few more minutes until y/n finally stopped crying. I helped him up as he started slowly dragging himself towards the back of the headquarters; the others were already silently gathered around the grave. Nova had been laid to rest, with some Vaqueros already standing by to fill the hole. Y/n made his way between our other team members, who quietly stepped aside to let him pass through. König and Reyes stood on their sides of their captain, who dropped the patches and tags into the hole, keeping his eyes forward the entire time. Alejandro quietly nodded in the dim light as the others began to silently fill the hole. Price motioned for everyone else to follow him back to the HQ with y/n not moving, Ghost and I decided to stay too.

Once the grave was filled, the Vaqueros quietly walked off back to the base. No one said anything, and I just watched y/n standing there barely visible in the lamp glow. I wanted to try to say something, anything, but I wasn't sure what I could say. Simon, however, seemed to have something he wanted to say taking a step forward towards y/n and carefully placing his hand on the smaller man's shoulder.

"When I was a kid, my father used to torture me with dangerous animals. He and my brother would laugh as my father held them up to my face. Terrified the shite out of me when I was a kid, and when I got older, he took me to a club and made me experience horrible things. I wanted to escape it all, so I joined the army, but trouble followed me; during one mission, my squad was killed and I was captured. I was tortured for days and eventually set on fire and buried alive in a casket."

Simon had never told me this before, and I could feel my stomach turning. The details were hellish, and I began to understand why he was who he was. Carefully, Simon used his free hand to pull the mask off. The lamp next to
y/n's feet didn't allow me to see it clearly, but I knew Simon probably knew that.

"When I finally crawled my way out and made my way back to the UK, I came back to intense therapy. A few months later, my family was murdered by the enemy who had tortured me on that mission. Gunned down in cold blood and left alone; I got my revenge but became Ghost after that."

"How...how did you ever recover?" Y/n whispered still not turning around.

"Price found me and became a good friend. He showed me that life was still worth living and that fighting for something better was worth it. Then I met someone new; at first the bastard annoyed the shit out of me, but by the end of our mission together, I had grown fond of him." Simon replied.

He was talking about me and the mission in Las Almas with Shadow Company. I couldn't help but chuckle internally at the thought of him being annoyed by me at first. Ghost had acted cold at first, just wanting to focus on the mission rather than me or anyone else we were working with, but during my time alone in the Las Almas downtown area, he had kept me safe and company the entire way. Simon did that, not Ghost; Simon had begun to break free. I carefully removed my own red skull mask as y/n did the same. No more using them to hide ourselves. No more secrets. It's just the three of us now.

"Then I met you, y/n and you just proved me more wrong." Simon whispered.

"How?" Y/n responded.

"You showed me people can care about me and not see the monster."

Y/n turned, leaning forward and resting his forehead on Simon's vest.

"You were never a monster to me, Simon."

"Or me." I added walking up and wrapping my arms around them both.

We all needed this; we needed each other. Simon was a broken man who was slowly healing. Y/n was shattered but held together through it all and even knew he would push through for Nova and the others. I had my own troubles, but I couldn't relate to anything they experienced. Instead, I would be there for them and share my love. Love. I loved them. That thought had been growing in my head, but I didn't say anything in the moment, just taking the moment for what it was.

"She's with Chimera and the others now." Y/n whispered.

"Aye. She isn't alone."

Y/n pulled away, wiping his eyes with his scarf, as we took one last look at the grave. We would make sure Nova didn't die for nothing; Makarov would die, and the world would be safe from his evil. Y/n took our hands in his own, slowly leading us back towards the main HQ. There was work to be done, and soon we would be on the move again.