Destined

Chapter Twenty-Five

Oisín

We spent the evening eating greasy Chinese food and watching whatever romance movie she picked. I didn't mind. I was over the moon happy with whatever she chose.

Our love journey was rocky and filled with trials and tribulations, but it was the end that mattered. It was where we were right now that counted. In love. Together. Close.

She said God sent me to her, that I was her salvation, I wasn't a religious man, but for her, I'd be whatever she needed. Yes, we'd gone through hell and have had pain and heartache to last us years, but we had each other.

We'd always have each other. I didn't need anything else as long as Elena was with me. I was content with my life and would take it slow regarding our future for as long as Elena wanted. I didn't mind.

Her mental and emotional health mattered to me more than expanding our family. I wouldn't suggest or try to initiate anything if she didn't want. I didn't want to hurt her or add more to her pain.

She had her good days, but she also had her bad days. I could only do so much to help ease her sadness, and I never wanted to push her too far or too hard.

If all she wanted was to watch movies and cuddle on our bed, then that's all we'd do. I waited forever for her to be mine, and I'd wait as long as she wanted. I cleaned up the trash and mess we made then we got out of bed to wash our hands and brush our teeth.

I returned, gathered up the dirty bedsheets where some sauce spilled, and tossed it all in the laundry basket. I pulled out new sheets and redid the bed while Elena finished in the bathroom.

"Are you going to go back to your study?"

I looked up. "Yeah. I have a few things I need to take care of. I also need to call Liam and Igor; just work out some stuff."

She nodded and played with her fingers.

"Use your words, mo ghrá amháin."

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Yes, I can."

I got under the covers with her, and she rested her cheek on my chest while I rubbed her back. I kissed the top of her head, and she sighed softly. Since I brought her back, she couldn't stand sleeping in the dark, so I always kept a light on. It was a dimly lit yellow lightbulb but lit enough for us to see each other.

"Oisín."

"Hmm."

"Why don't you touch me or kiss me?"

My body tensed up immediately at her words. Despite waiting for this topic to come up and waiting patiently for Elena to be the one to bring it up, I still wasn't ready for this topic of conversation.

"I... I'm just trying to be respectful of your space."

And that was the truth. I was terrified of touching Elena, having her flinch, and triggering her. The fact that she was assaulted hurt. The type of hurt made me feel this dull ache in my chest, and I could feel the staggering, burning pain every time I breathed.

Every time I thought about how I found her, it made me want to put the fucker who touched her against her will in a fucking woodchipper, but my wife was strong, brave, and killed him all on her own.

Trauma response or not, she did herself justice, and I fucking applaud her for it. He died, she had killed him, but that wasn't where the problem was. The problem was she should have never been put in that position, to begin with.

Fucking Enzo. I wanted his fucking head mounted on a goddamn spike. 

"Is it because I was raped...that you don't want to touch me?" She asked nervously, plucking me out of my murderous thoughts.