"Ya know Whumpee, Whumper had a really difficult childhood that I think you're not taking into consideration. And on top of that, their partner just got caught cheating on them. So honestly, I think you're being really harsh by insisting they do jail time."
Whumpee's mouth dropped open as they looked at Friend with complete betrayal.
"Oh come on. Don't look at me like that! I just like to hear both sides before I hold someone accountable. Ya know, there are two sides to every story."
"Um. I need to. Uh, go. Thanks for meeting me for coffee, Friend."
"Yeah sure, no problem. Seriously though, consider what I said. They're my friend."
This stopped Whumpee in their tracks. "I'm sorry?"
"What?"
"You said they're your friend?"
"Yeah?"
"How?"
"I don't understand-"
"I said how? How could you be friends with a monster like that? With someone who held me captive for days without feeding me? Who beat me senseless numerous times? Who threatened my life? HOW can you be friends with someone like THAT? Do enlighten me. And while you're at it, think of a good excuse for me to still call you a friend as well."
Friend smiled smugly behind their coffee cup. "Oh Whumpee, Whumper could have done so much worse. I know you might not believe me, but know it's true."
"What?"
"I know this, because I told them to do worse. You think you really did something with that little speech. Honey, I'm the one you should be afraid of. And if you try to report me, just remember: I know your mental health history. Think about how easily I could spin this in my favor. 'Officer, they think everyone is out to get them now that they're home, I've done nothing but help them please you have to believe me! We need to get them help!'"
Whumpee backed up in horror. They turned and ran. Friend (Whumper 2) sat back and chuckled into their cup.
