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TW: Dark subjects, Suicide, self harm, ECT. Proceed with caution.
Hopefully you guys enjoy! :)
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To say he lived a horrible life, would be a lie.
Yes Dazai has had many ups and downs, but he too also enjoyed so many good things.
To the best ability that is.
Dazai was always a troubled kid. A kid who despite having almost anything he asked for growing up, still had nothing.
He didn't have friends, and his parents were tolerable, but absent most of his life.
Running a business takes up a lot of their day. Then when they got home they didn't bother to interact with Dazai. Instead they just wanted to spend the rest of their night relaxing after the long day.
Rather than handling a kid their maid was more than capable of dealing with instead.
So Dazai would stay home with the house maid all day, and if he needed anything he just went to her.
Sometimes he'd go out on walks, or he'd buy random nick nacks or collectables to entertain himself for a week, before he soon grew bored and did away with them.
Dazai didn't even find joy in the new gaming devices, or trading cards. It was all just pointless material to him.
Besides it's harder to like things when you need friends to truly enjoy them.
His parents didn't make time for him, the kids in town had better things to do then deal with him and his negativity for what kids back then enjoyed, and life in general was black and white, his eyes unable to see the color in life that everyone else could.
So he tried suicide at the age of 16.
Dazai didn't want to die, though he didn't want to live in this universe either. So he tried to see if he'd wake up in a better life if he killed himself, getting the idea from a book he read about spirits and ones soul.
Though to no surprise he failed. The sound of sirens barely filling his conscious as he was taken from his room at midnight, exactly at the end of the week.
Dazai having wanted to finish off the week first before he moved on to his next life.
Though when he woke up in the hospital the next morning he was only met with more pain, and the hurt and ashamed faces of his parents.
"What were you thinking son!" His dad shouted, anger lacing his voice.
"Take it easy, he just woke up." A female voice came soon after, the one he recognized to be his mom's.
Dazai was in a daze, his vision barely even stable yet.
"Don't you understand the reputation I could have lost if you died? -The man who made his son's life so miserable he killed himself!- Is that what you want the newspapers to say Dazai?! Do you want your dad to lose all his money and his business?!" His dad shouted once again, despite his wife's words.
Though Dazai said nothing, he had no words to say, no feelings to feel, and even if he wanted to speak he couldn't.
His neck having been injured by the rope he used that night.
"Please just calm down, it's not his fault!" The women spoke again, desperately trying to defend her son.
Dazai knew she was upset at him as well, that she was hurt about what he did too, but unlike his dad, she had compassion.
A soul.
Something he sadly didn't get from her.
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Dazai had been in the hospital for a week before he was eventually cleared to be released.
His dad having to bribe the doctors not to send him to a mental institution.
Again for his reputation.
He left his room with bandages around his neck that day.
Mainly to hide the scar left behind from the rope.
Along with bandages up his arms from his fresh self harm scars before he attempted, having wanted to prepare himself mentally for the final act.
His dad requested they stay covered, more for, yet again, his image rather than his son's mental health.
Though Dazai didn't complain, because he too didn't want to see the evidence of yet again, another part of life he hated.
Failure.
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On the way out of the hospital Dazai only saw black and white, like usual.
He didn't want to leave, because he was supposed to already be gone. He wasn't supposed to be alive, and he knew outside those doors was just the same repeating cycle of despair and pointless routines.
Yet here he was, getting scolded by his father while his mother tried to levitate the situation, all while the eyes of those in the waiting room watched.
As Dazai was being scolded he only paid attention to the door ahead. His only goal now was to leave this place so he could try to leave this universe again later.
Though for a quick second there was a flash of color in the lobby.
Orange.
He had never realized color could be so beautiful, just one color made his heart long for what he couldn't see.
Orange to Dazai was now something so special to him, yet no one would understand why, because color is something everyone takes for granted.
The boy he saw as he left the hospital that day changed him, changed him in ways he never thought were possible.
But like all things Dazai would find interesting, he soon grew tired of the memory of that boy.
Because things Dazai obtains becomes boring after a while, so something he only saw for a second, and could never have, had no chance at being his minds priority for long.
YOU ARE READING
Chasing Strays (Soukoku- Dazai X Chuuya)
Fanfiction"Strays are messy and unkempt beings, I have no time for such creatures." The brown haired man spoke, his arm waving in dismissal. "Are you talking about animals, or yourself?" The ginger teased, a smile creeping slightly onto his face. - Chuuya...
