Chasing Strays (Soukoku- Dazai X Chuuya)

Chapter 17/ Late Night

Lonely, hurt, betrayed, angry. That's the only words to describe how Chuuya was feeling right now.

It had been two months since Chuuya poured his heart out to Dazai about how he felt.

And it took only a month for Dazai to go back on his words.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't right.

Dazai knew how Chuuya felt about these things. He KNEW he hated people who went back on his words.

Yet he still did it.

Yet he didn't care enough about Chuuya to fight to keep his word, to be good for him for longer than just a month at least.

Dazai had been drinking more and more lately (making him depressed and joking about suicide more and more), and being gone longer and longer. (All because of his stupid job.) At one point being gone for two days straight with not even a text or call of courtesy to his lover at home.

It pissed Chuuya off more then anything.
The fact that he gave Dazai a home so he could get out of his old shit hole, cleaned after him, made him dinner, ECT.

Yet none of that was worth fighting to keep in Dazai's eyes apparently.

Now Chuuya just spent is days alone, sitting on the couch or cleaning. The ginger even thinking on getting another job to at least get paid to be alone. Though mainly to keep him distracted from the pain and loneliness lingering inside him.

To say the least, Chuuya was struggling with a lowering mental heath himself. The pain of being attached to someone that doesn't value him (or himself) was only wearing away at him chunk by chunk.

He loves Dazai more then anything. He wanted things to be made right between them two. He just wanted everything to be okay.

To just finally be happy, for Dazai to finally be happy too. For him to finally have a stable relationship in his life.

---

Chuuya had been cleaning around the house, something he found himself growing to like the more he did it.

Though it was now about 10pm, Dazai having been gone for fifteen hours already, something that was now normal to Chuuya.

The ginger had found a place on the couch with the remote and a glass of wine. (Not just a glass knowing him.) After cleaning up Dazai's inconsiderate mess all day, finally deciding to relax and do something for himself for once.

Mentally he was shit. Not wanting to do anything, or sleeping or cleaning all day when he was off work.

All up to now he finding himself going from craving Dazai's attention when he would finally get back at late hours of the night, to acting as if he had been here the whole time and was just walking by.

He was tired of waiting hours and hours, sometimes days for him to get back just to blow him off. It was unfair and only hurt Chuuya. So he made himself stop caring. Made himself not care if he came home or not even. (Though deep down he still did.)

Like everyone else in his life, he's used to this. In fact he expected things to not work out between them. Though deep down, it still hurt. It hurt more then when his "friends" kicked him out of his home, when his parents gave him up for adoption. When his brother died.

It just hurt.

---

It was now 1am, all lights were off, the TV being the only source of light in the tiny apartment.

Chuuya was still lazily staring at the moving images ahead of him, the empty wine glass in hand as he was too lazy to put it in the sink.

He had finished up his bottle of wine, so he had nothing left to do but sit and think.

The exhausted man's body was begging him to sleep. His body worn out after downing a bottle of wine and manic cleaning all day.

Though he couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to sleep because all he could think was "what if he comes home." And "what if he's hurt or dead."

Chuuya, despite everything he thought. Despite the anger he felt, and forcing himself to not care about his lovers wearabouts. He was still his boyfriend, he was still someone he cares deeply about. So he worried.

---

The sound of the door opening filled chuuya's ears twenty minutes later. The ginger's heart racing in excitement, yet his mind or body barely reacted.

He heard the sound of lazy footsteps grow closer and closer as his lover made his way over to him. Chuuya picking up on the slight hitch in his steps, telling Chuuya his lover got hurt while he was out.

From behind the couch Dazai dipped his head down, placing a small kiss on Chuuya's lips. The shorter man having tilted his head back to greet him out of instinct.

"How was your day?" Dazai said in a unenthusiastic voice. The brunette's voice completely exhausted and beat after the day.

Chuuya only hummed in response, not bothering to tell him what he did, because he knew Dazai wouldn't pay attention, or would just blow him off to go sleep anyway.

Dazai only sighed before he headed off to the bedroom, this being the sign Chuuya could finally rest as well.

Chuuya turned off the TV, finally setting his empty glass in the sink, and bottle in the trash before heading off to join his tired lover in bed.

"Hey." Chuuya said, his voice tired.

"Hm?"

"I love you Dazai. I'm glad you're home." Chuuya said, a slight hint of desperation in his voice for some proof he cared back.

Dazai nodded, his body turning to face the shorter male in bed next to him. "I'm glad too. Though I'll be gone for a week starting tomorrow. Sorry. The boss won't give me a break. Though it's a big job and pays well, so maybe I'll finally be clear of my debt sooner."

Chuuya only smiled. He didn't know why he did. He just did.

Was it the joy of his lover finally telling him where he'd be instead of just leaving like a stray dog? Or was it because he'd finally get to be alone for awhile. To finally be able to go without the stress of waiting for Dazai to come home each night for awhile.

Dazai admitting he took this job to try and pay off his debt made Chuuya happy.

That he at least was trying to pay it off for both his and Chuuya's sake. Though he knew it wasn't enough.

Both he and Dazai knew he'd never pay off this debt unless he won the lottery or left. So it still hurt to know he was purposely working on a circle instead of actually trying.

"Ah, I'm so tired now a days, that Guid to Suicide book from my childhood is looking nice right now. Maybe I'll finally catch up on sleep!" Dazai suddenly said, pulling Chuuya out of his thoughts.

"Dazai, don't joke like that." Chuuya said, his heart breaking at not only the thought of his lover dying, but Dazai making those jokes despite knowing how they made him feel.

Dazai only huffed turning away from Chuuya. A dramatic yawn coming from him as he buried his face into his pillow. "Ya ya, sorry. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dazai."