deceit • Han Seojun x Kang Soojin

20. close my eyes

20. close my eyes

"Se-yeon!" He called out to him, loudly, as much as he could fathom to scream, "YA SE-YEON-AHHHHH." He yelled, deafening the people who were around. "SE-YEON YOU IDIOT, YOU STUPID IDIOT... YOU..." He finally broke down, crying, on his knees, holding his heart, his chest that suddenly felt so heavy, heavier than the earth if that was even possible.

He cried, bitterly, tears streaming like a gushing river, vision fading from everything colorful to everything black. He held his head, trying so much to hold himself back, to hold his pain, to avoid crying here, but he could not help it. His best friend had killed himself. His best friend had forgotten about him, about their friendship, about the pain he left back and had fallen to his death.

But Han Seojun cried more because Se-Yeon died a very painful death, too soon, too early, too fast for him to get a hold of things. He hated how he was not there, he hated how Se-Yeon did not bother calling him, reaching out to him, he hated how he was still second to Suho, the guy who could save him but did not.

Han Seojun was always the second guy.

Always the last , always late.

Han Seojun eyes teared up when he felt Soojin struggling to get out of his hold. They were still seated on the cold floor, Han Seojun had wrapped his arms around the girl, holding her from behind, closer to himself. Soojin kept struggling out of his arms, but her strength was unmatched to the one who overpowered her, and all her fighting went in vain. Seojun took a deep breath, Soojin's arms were hitting his sides, she was way too strong than he anticipated yet he did not let her go.

The sky is colored violet
The lonely wind feels colder tonight

Han Seojun gulped, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. This was too hard for his fragile heart to handle, but with Se-yeon's memories flooding his mind and Soojin's cries haunting him, this was the first thing he thought to do. So he shut his eyes, letting go of this fear and imagined his best friend sitting in front of him, helpless, scared and wanting to die and he did what he would do then.

Sing

The familiar memories etched into my heart
I'm filled with you again tonight
Only thankful memories remain

Soojin stopped immediately, Han Seojun's soft, beautiful voice was like a whisper at first, then it was the only thing that resonated in her colorless room. She had her eyes shut, tears still running down her cheeks, yet the song, the soft song she had heard so many times before happened to hold a strong pull on her.

Our hearts fluttered and we smiled
But I'm afraid we'll become a star and disappear
So I'll cherish those memories in the empty spot of my heart

Soojin was panting, her sobbing was now little sniffs, scared and hurt as she stripped off her feelings in the arms of the guy she never really noticed before. But he was right here, in the foreground, not in the background anymore and as he continued singing, Soojin found her heart release the anchors and loosen up and her tears seemed to comply too. Seojun had held her, as the chorus approached, even closer, and she let him hold her.

She kept her eyes shut, and so did he.

When I close my eyes, you grow so clear
I long for you, who shined
I stayed in your spot for long nights
Let me rest for a moment, let me stay by your side

Han Seojun could see Se-Yeon standing on the railing, ready to fall to his death, ready to leave them all behind and he stood just behind him. He cried, singing to his best friend, the song they had composed, together, they had sang, together, they had dreamed off, together and Se-Yeon turned. Han Seojun could see him, heartbroken, yet smiling, teary face, yet brave and Se-Yeon reached his hand out to Seojun who took it at once.