collision | s. chishiya

𝙀𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏𝙀𝙀𝙉 - 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜'𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙙

"you're kidding." you averted your gaze from his. 
"i wish i was." he chuckled, as if fighting away anxiousness.
chishiya's body was stiff and tense.

"i'm not sure how i feel about you after what you've done." you sighed.
"you realize how this place is, right? sacrifices are necessary to live." he scoffed.

"i get it. but you sacrificed my friend, someone i've known way longer than you.. and you expect me to still like you?" you looked over at him. chishiya shrugs his shoulders.

you exhaled softly. "i wont forget what you've done to my friends though.." you turned.
"anyway, i had a question for you."

chishiya gazes over, raising his eyebrows. "go on."

"why didn't you involve me into your plan? why couldn't i.. be a replacement?" you asked, unsure on the wording you used.

chishiya let out a noise of amusement, and smiled slyly. "such an unusual feeling as i had stated, that began way before my plan. i had planned to keep you away from me as much as possible, since i couldnt let such a feeling like that bring me down....and kept the plan away from you. that is until you barged in, i found out there was no way i could hold you back."

you were puzzled. "so, you tried to forget me?"
"sure." he replied.

"it seems you haven't, though."
"the feeling is harder to get rid of than i had thought." you could hear chishiya groan. "it seems it gets worse as much as i try to forget it."

you stared at your hands. "that sums up the feeling of love for you, chishiya."
he snorted, clearly aggravated.

you hummed.
"i'm not here for your forgiveness, either." chishiya looked over.
"i know you aren't. a person like you wouldn't beg for anyone's forgiveness."

"if anything.. you should be seeking arisu and usagi for forgiveness. not someone who had nothing to do with it." you turned around and faced him.
"i'm not interested in talking to usagi nor arisu." chishiya replied.

"i'm not as interested in them as i am in you." he shrugged.
you shook your head. "cut it out.."

you stopped trailing the area, and began to think. you didn't know how to approach the conversation anymore. it was awkward. you couldn't forgive him, nor could you forget. but you didn't want to hold a grudge. holding a grudge like that just held you back.

you needed to tell him somehow, but couldn't word it. saying 'i forgive you,' would be completely wrong because you didn't. you didn't even have the place to forgive him.
you just decided to wing it.

clearing your throat, you spoke up. "chishiya," you called.
chishiya hummed in response.

"you know, i don't hold a grudge against you."
chishiya snorts. "isn't that interesting.."
"what? would you like me to hold a grudge against you?"

"no. i didn't say that." chishiya looked over his shoulder.
you sighed. "i won't forgive nor forget your actions, but i can't just.. hate you forever. it'll get me no where in a situation like this."

"you're dumber than i set you out to be." chishiya snorted.

"i hope a laser comes from the sky, and shoots you right in the head."
"i bet you think that." chishiya smirked. as it didn't seem like it, but you could see the hidden hints of delight behind that cold gaze. you tried to read through him as much as possible. just in case.
you laughed. "you say that yet you don't even know how to explain you're in love with me."

chishiya grows silence.
you laughed, almost falling over from how much you were laughing.

"then, help me get rid of it."