The Moon And The Stars

CHAPTER 46

"Oh my poor love," I hear an elderly voice say, gentle hands picking my body. I flinch away and look up in fear at whoever's touching me now. I look up to see an elderly woman smiling down at me, "It's ok my love," she says gently, helping me up to my feet.

She must see my stunned look and she smiles a motherly smile at me, wrapping a dressing gown around my cold body, "I'm the head maid here, left over from when Anton's father was in charge, so I took the liberty of looking after you myself," she tells me, leading me over to my bed where my breakfast is waiting. "Most of the guards and workers who only stay at Anton's estate are loyal to his father and brother, the ones who go out and do all of his dirty work are Anton supporters," she explains to me, pouring the milk into my tea.

"Anton had a brother?" I ask, taking the warm cup in my hands. The woman nods, "He has a younger brother, they're estranged as far as I know, Anton kicked him out after they had a few disputes when Anton came into power,"

I take a long sip of my tea, letting the new information sink in. The sound of heavy footsteps from outside my room snap me out of my thoughts, my head whipping around to the door, every part of me tense as I wait to see if it's him. "He's away on business for the next few days so you're safe until then," the woman says quietly, smiling a sad smile at me, her soft eyes full of compassion as she sees my trembling body.

I clear my throat and nod, "What was your name sorry?" I ask, wanting to change the topic. "Mila," she says cheerily, getting up off the bed. "You go pop into the shower and I'll set your clothes up, I didn't like what Anton got you so I ordered you some comfier clothes, of course if you don't like anything just let me know and I'll order some more," she chatters along, making herself busy as I painfully get out of bed, my entire body aching from the horrors of last night.

"Thank you," I tell the kindly woman, taking a pair of shorts and a hoodie from the collection of clothing brought Mila and heading into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me and lean against the sink, breathing in and out slowly, trying to push out the events of last night.

I turn on the shower and slip off the robe that Mila got me, tears appearing in my eyes as I see the bruises left by Anton. I cover my mouth as my eyes scan my reflection, ugly bruises forming on my stomach and arms. I have a black eye from where Anton punched me and my throat has light bruising from his harsh fingers. I try to muffle my cries by getting into the shower, allowing myself to cry freely under the safety of the hot water.

He hit me. The man who I am married to, hit me. Not only that, he left bruises on my body, bruises that will take time to go away, bruises that will be a constant reminder of what Anton did to me.

And I'm stuck like this.

I'm stuck in a cruel, abusive marriage for the rest of my life, paralysed at the hands of a man who wishes only to harm me, harm me to please him. To harm me to make himself feel better, feel more powerful, more superior to me.

And Luca let it happen.

Every fucking thought in my mind goes back to him. The man who let this all happen. The man who handed me off to someone he knew would abuse and hurt me. The man I've begun to hate. Hate more than I hate Anton, because no physical pain will ever amount to the pain Luca caused me. The pain he knew would torture me more than Anton's hands ever could, and my stupid self can't help but still care for him.

I sink down the shower wall and lena my tired head against it, trying to calm my breathing down. A whimper leaves my lips as I try to close my eyes, try to calm myself down the same way I have for years, except this time it's different. This time, whenever I close my eyes I'm reminded of Anton, what he did to me last night, the way he touched me, the way he hit me and kicked me, the way he spat his words out at me. The way every hateful word that came out of his mouth was true.

Why would Luca want me? Why would he want a wife who did to herself what I did to myself?

I try to force my eyes to stay open, not wanting to subject myself to the reliving of the painful memories of last night. Not wanting to put myself through anymore pain.

But maybe I deserve that.

Maybe I deserve the pain I've been put through the last few days, I was the one who sunk Luca and I'd marriage after all. If I hadn't had marked myself I would still be with him. Still be lying in his arms with him combing through my hair, whispering comforting words to me as he kissed my forehead, reassuring me that everything would be ok, that he would never leave, that it was just me and him. Forever and ever.

That was a fucking lie.

I bring my hand back up to my mouth to muffle the cries that refuse to stay put, sobs escaping my lips as my mind refuses to rest, refuses to show me mercy and continue to replay the events of last night. Not letting me forget it as I try to calm myself down.

I can't live this fucking life forever.

//

*Not edited*

Sorry for the short chapter, it was a bit of a filler one, the next chapter after this will probably be on the shorter side too but then the one after that will be nice and long (get your head out the gutter)

Bc it was such a short chapter I'll the post the next one later today (in the next half hour or so)

Abi <3