First Light

66 the incident

Thursday 26th of May 2022 (the following week)

Faye:

I want to buy toothbrushes for us in complementary colours so they can sit perfectly together in the holder in our bathroom.

A strange thought, I know, but it feels right to think about. Marlo and I living together sometime in the future. It doesn't have to be soon, since we're not even in our 20s or close to finishing university, but I know that I want to live with him. I'm looking forward to it. Willow will be there, of course. Maybe we can get another pet to keep her company, like a dog or another cat, since neither of us want kids.

We have talked about our future, Marlo and I. It has been more of a hypothetical "what if", because I think neither of us want to talk about it in a completely serious way. I know I don't, in case that scares him. We have only been dating for 4 months, but I have known him for nearly 8 and I don't think I've been more sure of anything in my life. Living together with him in the future, I mean. It'd feel weird having that with someone else.

I want to be able to tell him anything, to want to tell him anything. Especially after he let me see him in such a vulnerable state last week. Which is why I decide to tell him about that night when I was 17, the one that changed my relationship with alcohol completely.

Wednesday 17th of July 2019

Kristy opens the door, letting out a small scream as she realises that it's me, and then leans forward to embrace me in a hug.

"Faye! Come in, come in. I was beginning to think you weren't going to turn up."

"Hi, Kristy. Happy birthday."

I step past her into the hallway, looking around at all the people that are here already. I can hear music coming from one of the rooms near to me. There are pink and purple decorations strung up around the banister of the stairs and taped along the walls. 17! helium balloons are leaning against the ceiling.

"Sorry, I was trying to wrap your present. It looks like shit, by the way," I answer, handing her over the bag that it's in.

She waves me off. "Don't worry about it. Thank you so much."

She places it amongst the pile of presents and then holds out her hand for me to take, guiding me through the people and into the kitchen. No one pays much attention to us but I can feel the sickly anxious feeling creeping up on me already.

Kristy hands me a cup as soon as I walk in.

"I know you need it," She says, and I laugh.

"I do, yeah. Where's the alcohol?"

I ignore the tiny voice in my head that tells me I haven't eaten anything today.

+

The next time I wake up, I am in a hospital room. My parents are in two chairs next to my bed, and they notice, my dad rushing out of the room saying something about a doctor.

My mouth feels very dry.

The doctor that my dad gets has round glasses and greying hair, and he introduces himself as Dr Khan. He speaks in a slow, quiet voice like he's trying not to startle me. He tells me why I'm in hospital, and hearing "alcohol overdose" and "stomach pumped" feels very strange to my ears.

"Do you remember anything about what happened, Faye? Before you passed out." He asks.

I take a second to think. "No nothing. I don't remember anything." My voice sounds strange to my ears.

"It can be very dangerous to drink without eating beforehand. That's why you were drunk a lot faster, and with less alcohol than if you had eaten something. Situations like this are a lot more common than you think."