First Light

18 3am

Thursday 21st of October 2021

Faye:

No matter what time I go to sleep, there are always occasions where I'll end up waking early. Too early. Early enough that I'm able to watch the sunrise, or even before the sunrise when it's autumn and winter.

And no matter how hard I try, I can never manage to get back to sleep. Even if I'm extremely tired.

At this point, I don't even try to fight it. Once I'm awake, I'm awake.

Today is one of those days. It is 3.13am and the sun won't be up for about another 4 hours.

The main two options are stay inside, or go outside. My choice changes often.

I can hear rain from outside my window, but that won't bother me, since it's just light. Besides, I'm only going to be out for a few minutes anyway.

I think I'll be warm enough in the hoodie and joggers I've slept in, so I just put on socks and my Doc Martens, and make sure to wear a coat with a hood.

The pack of cigarettes is the last thing I put into my pocket as I head out of the flat.

I don't think I'll ever get used to how quiet it is around this time, even though I've been doing this since September.

It was never really that quiet on my road, back home. And it's not as if I could've gone anywhere else, what with me living with my parents.

But now, at least for when I'm at university, I have some sort of freedom to walk a little to find somewhere quiet. Not that I really need to anyway. It's quiet as soon as you step outside.

The rain drops are cold against my face, like little kisses from the clouds.

I take the steps down to the gates of the accommodation, walking carefully so I don't slip, and take a seat on the ledge outside. It seems a bit unnecessary to go for a walk when I'm just here to smoke.

The cigarette is between my teeth and I'm cupping my hand around the end in an attempt to light it without the rain ruining the shitty flame when a familiar voice says my name.

He says it like a question, like he's confused why I'm sitting outside, struggling to make my cheap lighter work in the rain at 3 in the morning.

I reply with his name in a similar tone, because I'm confused why he's standing with his airpods in, without a hood or umbrella in the rain at 3 in the morning.

Marlo:

"Are you always awake this early?" I ask her, walking forward slightly so I'm standing in front of her. I take out my airpods and shove them into the pocket of my coat so I can hear her properly.

Faye squints up at me, some of the rain drops falling onto her face. She's not wearing makeup again, and somehow even in this lack of light I can still see how pretty she is. "Sometimes. I can't sleep."

"Neither can I."

She doesn't reply, instead just patting the space next to her on the ledge for me to sit down, so I do.

"You smoke?" I say, looking at the unlit cigarette held between her fingers. She isn't wearing any of her rings.

"Yeah, it helps with the - . It helps pass time," She clears her throat, looking away quickly. "Gives me something to do."

She takes out the pack and slides the cigarette back in quickly, then pockets it with the lighter.

"I wouldn't have minded," I refer to her putting everything away. "Jonah smokes weed."