Monday 28th of February 2022 (the following week)
Marlo:
I watch the moonlight slant into my room through the gap in the curtains where I didn't shut it properly, tipping a small silver puddle onto the carpet. It's well past 4am now.
I think of texting Faye, but what if she's not awake? What will I do then?
The silence in the flat is unnerving, not peaceful like it should be. Granted, all of us have uni early tomorrow - today - so there's no drunk commotion or music playing, but still. Something feels off, not quite right.
This doesn't help with the suffocating emptiness.
I pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming, hard enough that I can feel my nails digging into my skin, and hold it as long as I can. The pain is muted, barely there. I wonder if I am even real right now. If I am even alive.
That's stupid, of course you're alive.
I should do something to get me back. My mind wanders to its usual solution, and it lingers there for a second, contemplating. Will more pain help me?
I switch back to Faye. Maybe I should text her, on the off-chance that she is awake. Being with her might make me feel better. Even if it's just to hold her.
The brightness of the screen in the almost complete-darkness makes me squint, and I blink several times in an attempt to get my eyes to adjust to it. I click on Faye's chat, trying to work out a message to send to her that won't make it seem like it's an emergency.
Hey, are u awake? <3
I watch my phone for a few seconds, half expecting to see the bubble and three dots pop up.
It's okay if not btw, just wondering.
After about 5 mins of waiting, I turn my phone screen off. Maybe I shouldn't have texted her. I wouldn't want her to see me like this, anyway.
YOU ARE READING
First Light
Romance"I love you. I feel as though we were never strangers, you and I, not even for a moment." - Friedrich Nietzsche, from a letter to Mathilde Trampedach c. April 1876 Have you ever felt a weird sense of familiarity with someone you just met? As if you...
