i caught myself oath-breaking,
at 4am, on our kitchen table.
i remember how Nix used to jump on your lap,
purring like a truck engine, and how you used to
scream and giggle with her claws on your leg.
can you remember when we first slep together?
your lips on my neck, your hips on my back, and
my heart molten on the cold ground.
i mean, i remember it all.
i don't think i could forget,
i can barely not think about it.
i still remember how you laid, head on my hands,
and told me how many curses you had tied around
your strangled heart.
d'you remember how, back before we left the Bay, we'd
sit awake for hours and hours, asking the dumbest of
questions just to hear each other's voices?
i can't forget it all.
can't afford to erase all this.
unfortunately, i can't seem to forget the part where you
left me, door swung open and windows cracked,
with nothing left on my chest.
can you even remember all the promises we made
at sundown, when we thought the dark was the worst
thing we'd have to brace through?
i still remember the ones i made.
i still remember how i vowed to myself,
3am crying on our couch:
i won't waste another hour
thinking about you.
