Tulips

8. Let me be the only one.

Freen.

I went after her as she went to the cr. I locked the door, faced her and pulled her to me. She pushed me lightly putting some space between us.

"Becky..." I said softly looking straight into her eyes. Her eyes questioning but she's not saying anything. Yet somehow she does looks like she's waiting. Maybe...

"No one calls me that" her voice as softest as ever. Her eyes never leaving mine.

"Then let me be the only one."

I quickly slid my arm from her waist to her back pulling her body into mine. At the same time my hand went around her neck and pulled her face towards me. I touched her lips with mine, eager to taste her.

She pushed me but I held her firmly and proceeded in kissing her. She then went stiff while I continued to kiss her. When she wasn't resisting anymore, I opened my lips and began to suck her lower lip.

Gosh she taste so good. I now remember how she taste and I can't wait to taste her more.

Her lips now slowly moves along with mine as she now sucks my upper lip too. I pushed gently her til her back touched the door. I pinned her, moving my body against her. I can feel the heat slowly building up.

Fragments of memories that night came back to me. The memory flashes back with me on top of her, took off her dress and kissed her passionately. She kissed me back with the same intensity as I did.

We suddenly jumped as we both got startled at a loud bang from the door. "Oi! Let us in! There's now a line out here!"

She looked at me looking shocked with her hand on her lips as if just realizing what we're doing. She then pushed me, unlocked the door and pushed herself in between the people. I hurriedly went after her but the people who's coming in blocked me.

Once I got out, I ran back to the room. I looked for her everywhere but I couldn't find her. She's not woth her friends too. I then ran out and went straight to the elevator. Once at the ground, I ran towards the exit and saw her just got inside a cab then it drove away.

I can't believe she slipped away from me again. But I'll make sure next time she won't. There's something about her that makes me want to be with her.

I went back inside and back to the room. I took my bag and Heng saw me. 

"You're going down at the bar?"

"No I'm going home."

I heard him chuckled before saying:
"You? Going home early? And not even drunk?" He then put a hand on my forehead which I slapped.
"You're not sick. What's with you?"

"I'm no longer in the mood."

"Aahh... Is it because of her that you're no longer in the mood?"

I looked at him in disbelief, sat at the bar then sighed.

"She ran away from me."

"She did?..." He laughed at me. "A girl escaped from the great Freen!? Now that's a first."

"What kind of a friend are you. You're making me feel worse." I took the drink he's holding and drink it in one go.

"I'm just stating the truth. She doesn't look like the typical girls you've been with." He then looked at me seriously. "Freen, She's different so please don't make her a part of your "one night girl" collection."

"What? Are you concerned about her?"

"Nam told me what she'd been through. I've spent time with her many times as well. So I know how good of a person she is. She's really not your typical meal Freen."

He is serious. He never say this to previous girls I've dated.

"Why don't you just let her go... Just stick with my boy." He said smiling while ordering another drink for himself.

"Oh yeah, him. She made me forget about him. Well... Let me be a good girl now and go home. See yah!"

I drove home. My housekeeper looked surprised that I came home early. I told her to ready my warm bath.

Once it's done, I stripped and stepped into the tub while holding a glass of wine. I took a sip and put it on the table.

I leaned my back unto the tub and closed my eyes. The memory of me kissing her appeared in my mind. I remember how her lips tasted and how she responded.

Just remembering her kiss makes me feel the heat. I need to release this. My hand started to move downward but then I stopped myself. I shook my head, drank my wine and think of something else aside from her. When I can't get her out of my mind. I hurriedly cleaned myself, finished my wine before taking a shower. Once done I went out and took my phone.

I called May, my secretary, and asked her to find Becky's address.

Normally I would go home drunk, that way I could sleep right away. In that way I'll prevent myself from thinking unwanted things.

A new friend said "the pain will still hurt but if you keep ignoring instead of acknowledging it, you'll be stuck forever in that pain. You'll never get to move on and forever be a coward."

I took the glass of juice brought by the housekeeper and went to the balcony. I forgot how beautiful this view is. Dad gave me this huge house. I thought him acknowledging me as one of her daughters will make us closer, but it didn't.

Mom planned everything without me knowing. While I was working and she's at home in pain due to her sickness, she secretly ask for my cousin's assistance to locate my father. She told him about me. He didn't believe her at first and ask to have a dna test. She and my cousin tricked me into having a test which turned out to be the dna test.

The result came and it's a positive match. She have arranged for us to meet and to tell me everything. But unfortunately she died a few days before the said meeting.

It devastated me. Me losing her left me vulnerable. She was my pillar and my strength. Now, nothing's left of me. I am alone now.

I remember the first time I saw my dad. It was the first day of her wake. We weren't introduced yet but when I saw him I sort of felt a connection and to mention the resemblance too.

He talked to me and told me everything that happened and what mom told him. That's when I learned that he's already married when he met mom which he kept from mom. Two years in their relationship a friend of mom saw them together. That friend knew his wife so she told mom when she had the chance.

Mom confronted him and when he admitted he's married and have 3 kids, she left him. A few weeks after their break up she learned that she's pregnant with me. She didn't dare to let him know about me.

He happened to be well off, for he have a lot of businesses. After knowing I'm her daughter, he introduced me to his family. They were not thrilled yet they were respectful and civil. He gave me this house, a car and a bank account which has an amount I never thought I'd have.

But that's just it. Yes he provided my needs but not all. I'm grieving and I needed a father at times like this but he was never there.

I struggled to keep up with everything, with the pain of losing mom, the fact that I am now alone in this world, and the pain of having a dad that feels non existent.

After mom's funeral, I shut myself from the world. I drowned myself in alcohol and became careless.