Tulips

23. Get my Girl.

Becky.

"You really like her that much huh..." Nam said after I told her about what happened today.

I took a sip of my cold chocolate drink that Nam brought. Nam was silent for a while. She was looking at me but her eyes clearly says she's not really looking. She's lost in her thoughts. Then after sipping her iced Americano, she leaned forward.

"Do you want to pursue her?"

"In case you forgot what I told you few minutes ago, She doesn't want me anymore."

"I did not forgot. And You did not answer my question."

"Yes. But I can't..."

"What? Wait. Where did my best friend go? Are you the same Becca who, though you hate it, you diligently learned how to cook indian food for Nop? Who comes with Nop on a party just to be her driver cause he'll be drunk? Are you the same Becca who drove 5 hours just to bring the swimming trunks Nop left at his house. And then drove back?"

I stared at her. Yes I did all that.

"Well if you're no longer that Becca I knew well you deserved to be pushed away by Freen."

Ouch. That hurt.

"It's... It's different..."

"Why? Are you telling me you don't like Freen as much as you like Nop at that time?"

"No. I have never liked anyone like how I liked Freen. She made me feel things I've never felt with Nop. She... She even makes me shiver, makes my heart pound of joy but she breaks it too. She makes me want to do what she wants..."

"She wanted you but you pushed her away because you said it's because of Richie. Well, Richie is no longer in the picture. What stops you from pursuing her?"

"Cause she doesn't want me anymore."

"Then make her want you again." She leaned closer and took hold of her hand. "You are the most loyal girlfriend, most caring, kind, loving, patient and even stupid and martyr at times. Let her see that. Show her who you really are."

I was just staring at my iced choco. She was right I did a lot of things for Nop beyond what other might do for their partner. But why am I holding back when it comes to Freen.

"Or is it because you still can't accept that you fell for her, for a girl?" Nam said.

I quickly looked at Nam. She's right. What's stopping me.

"At first, yeah. I can't believe I fell for a girl. I set it aside for I thought I wasn't like that. And was thinking of staying away from her as she pursue me because Richie likes her. But when she's the one who pushed me away... I realize how I feel for her. I admit it scared me. It's something unfamiliar... Something new..."

"I know it's scary... But haven't you forgotten we have a friend who's like that. Did you think she had a hard time when she decided to start that relationship?"

"No. It made her happy."

"Exactly. Becca, you're miserable cause of what you feel for Freen. You want to be with her, you just afraid to admit it and do something with it." Nam held my hand again. "Go back to the same Becca who does everything she could for the one she likes, for the one she loves. Regardless of her gender or reputation, pursue her. That's when you'll know if it'll make you happy or not. Cause if you don't, you might regret it and you'll never be at peace with yourself."

Everything she said hit me head on. She's really on point. I shouldn't be afraid. If I want peace of mind, I should take action.

"Nam. Come with me." I stood and drag her out of the kitchen and out of the shop.