Sinful Past

CHAPTER 2

Olivia Pearson stood over her daughter's hospital bed heartbroken. Her daughter's stomach had just been pumped and she was completely confused as to what led her twelve-year-old daughter to do such a thing. Adam stood nervously at a distance afraid to even come near the scene. Olivia saw the anxiety in his eyes and wondered why he seemed so agitated and jumpy. Her heart ached for her baby and she did not know what to do to help her.

 An hour had passed and Olivia felt feelings of Deja Vu remembering the death of her first husband, Dianna's father. Olivia was not prepared for what happened next. A nurse pulled her to the side. "Mrs. Pearson, did you realize your daughter may have been assaulted? We have reported the matter to the authorities after discovering bruising around her thighs and legs. "What!?" Olivia said trying to focus and get over the initial shock and process what the nurse had told her. "Who did this?" Olivia said gripping her aching heart. Olivia gazed nestle at Thomas and she felt remorse and regret for leaving her daughter in the hands of this monster. Olivia did not hear a word child service asked or the police because she only saw Thomas Richards at that moment. Her baby was only around him when she went to work. 

Olivia's head started throbbing with a  splitting headache putting two and two together. Instantaneously she blamed herself for trusting this predator with her child and allowing him into their lives. She calmly walked over to him at the end of the hall with the police and snapped. Olivia charged and attacked him scratching up his face really badly. "How could you do this to such an innocent child?" she yelled hysterically. The officers pulled her off him as he scrambled to get up. He was arrested on the spot and charged with rape and sexual abuse of a minor.

Two years later

Olivia embraced Dianna with a warm hug. It was a bittersweet moment for them as Thomas was convicted of all charges and would spend twenty years behind bars without parole. The trial had been taxing on her daughter and she knew her baby felt broken. Hearing all the details of the abuse and blaming herself for not noticing what was going on had Olivia hurting as well. "Let's pray," she suggested trying to comfort her daughter. She knew they had a long road ahead of them but God could help them put the pieces back together somehow. 

"Mom, I don't want to pray. Where was God when my dad died of a heart attack? Where was he when I had a gun placed to my head and a knife to my throat when our lives were being threatened by Thomas? Where was my mom when I needed her the most? God did not help me when he repeatedly rape me and forced himself on me," Dianna declared. "So forgive me if I don't feel like praying," Dianna confessed.

"Dianna, I am sorry I failed you and did not see what was going on. You are not alone in this. Our faith is all we have left. Our prayers are important even when we feel broken and lost................ God is still there, he understands," Olivia continued holding her hand. Olivia knew her daughter would need professional help to deal with grief, loss, and the trauma of her father's death and the abuse from Thomas. 

"Mom, can I be excused?" Dianna cried recalling all the details of her assault. She felt as if she was going through it all over again. Olivia nodded slightly grabbing Dianna in a hug trying to be patient knowing she had to let her daughter heal at her pace. "I love you and God never stopped loving you even though you don't want to hear this right now," her mother sobbed. 

Dianna walked into her new room. Her old room held too many bad memories of Thomas having his way with her. They were moving out of the house, to a new town to start over after everything that had happened. Dianna could not wait. She did not want to be known as that girl who was abused. The trial was necessary but it left her feeling exposed, dirty, and ashamed because she had to describe every rape encounter so he would be convicted. 

"Why did you forsake me?" Dianna asked God as she moaned into her pillow. Olivia stood in her daughter's room conflicted. She wanted to give her space and be sensitive to her wishes but at the same time, she wanted to be that shoulder to cry on. After standing at the door she finally entered and sat at the edge of the bed and poured out her heart to God on their behalf. 

Dear God,

This is our broken prayer. It is not easy for us to pray when we are hurting so much. However, you are our only source in the midst of the pain. We know you still have a plan for Dianna's life. Today is rough but we are praying for a better tomorrow. Lord, Dianna is broken, hurt, confused, and conflicted with this entire situation.

You are her comforter and friend even though she does not feel this way now. This is my baby and you knew her from my womb. I know there is a destiny for her life and this abuse will not stop her. Forgive me for not seeing the signs and neglecting to do my part and allowing this to go unnoticed. I love my child and when she hurts I hurt too. Help me to do better as a mother by her. 

God, she belongs to you. And nothing shall separate her from the love you have for her. You said  All things work for our good. I don't know what the future holds for her life but I know who holds the future. It is you Alpha and Omega. God help Dianna survive this..............................................

Olivia continued to pray extremely emotionally. Dianna embraced her mother feeling connected. She knew this was tearing her mother up inside as well. "Mom, I don't blame you for any of this," Dianna said. "I hope God does not forget me," Dianna said holding her mother tightly. "He never will," Olivia said.