Sinful Past

CHAPTER 17

Finding Me

Aunt Joy prayed and talked with Dianna after she revealed all the details that happened to her with Marcus, the rapes, forced prostitution, the abuse from her stepfather, and the advances of Daniel. Confession was good for the soul and Aunt Joy was not judgemental but supportive and a very active listener. 

She held Dianna's hand. "Please forgive me. If I was a better Aunt you would not have gone through all of this. You never would have met Marcus," she sobbed hanging down her face in tears. 

"Aunt Joy, this is nobody's fault. Evil and good exist in the world. God does not want us to suffer or go through the many difficulties we face but he gives man free will to make their own choices. I just have to find out how God is going to turn this into my good. I am almost twenty, and with so much anxiety, I don't want to look at men or trust anyone. I just need some balance and change just to find myself again," Dianna admitted. "I just want to be normal without these experiences always defining me," Dianna continued.

"One step at a time. You have to write your experiences down and get some help. I have a psychologist who I work with. Say the word and I will set up the meeting. But first, look up my child for our help comes from the Lord. It's okay to feel, cry and scream if you have to. You are not lost or broken just being redeemed and refined for the new. You always have our support and you are not in this alone. You have a college degree to get soon," Aunt Joy beamed. Dianna hugged her and thank God her aunt was becoming the mother she needed and finally becoming the joy attached to her name.

Reconnecting with old friends six months later

Dianna was taking more walks on the beach, journaling more, writing a  book about all that happened, praying, and talking to God more. She was beginning to find her way back to finding herself again. She cut her hair in a pixy cut and enrolled at a community college in Atlanta to continue to be close to her aunt and the twins. The nightmares, depression, and anxiety were slowly slipping away along with sexual desires. Dianna also had not gotten any sexual diseases. She was scheduled to start in a few months and was really excited about the possibilities.  She had reconnected with Paige and they were going to spend the summer together before they both returned to college. 

Autumn showed up to see her friend. When Dianna first went missing she helped Aunt Joy try to find her. Autumn was devastated and felt bad about not seeing the warning signs when it came to Marcus. "Dianna," she cried embracing her when they met up for lunch.

"I am sorry I wasn't a better friend. I should have picked up he was bad news. You are strong and a fighter," Autumn said. "All is forgiven," Dianna smiled. 

"Look at you, you are glowing. I love the haircut. You are so beautiful," Autumn said. "Thank you," Dianna beamed. "What's new?" Dianna said excitedly to see her.

Autumn smiled, "I got married a year ago and have a baby girl who is in need of a godmother."

"I am so happy for you," Dianna hugged her again. "Do you want to meet them?" Autumn asked.

Dianna simply nodded with tears in her eyes. Autumn's husband approached with a three-month-old baby girl in his hands. "Johnathan my dearest friend Dianna," Autumn introduced her husband and friend. "It is so nice to finally meet you," he said.

"And meet your goddaughter because her christening is next week and you are invited. This is Dianna Savannah Peterson," Autumn said placing the baby in her hands.

Dianna cried, "She is so beautiful. You named her after me?" Dianna said overwhelmed with emotions. Autumn simply nodded crying. "I didn't know if I would see you again so I needed a piece of you with me always," Autumn admitted. Johnathan kissed his wife on the cheek and took the baby as both women hugged and cried. 

Dianna found out that each day God was giving her something to live and fight for. She knew now more than ever she was simply going to trust God for the next in her life.