Mammon shook me again.
I was in the fetal position, sucking my thumb or a strangers toe...one or the other
Asmodeous had returned from the reading room covered in glitter and Solomon's (hmm...i am just thinking about the consequences of this story..)
"Y/n!" Lucifer was here now
"Jesus" diavolo commented from the sidelines
"Were those not weed balls?" I asked asmo
"No, they were not...idk what they were but they were purple for starters soo" the demon shrugged
"I thought they were green?"
"Your colour blind!" Mammon moaned
"Oh but i can seee purple"
"Your also partially blind because your drunk!" Satan added
It was at this moment i realised Leviathan and belphie are the most neglected characters in this story and therefore the only two with dignity in tact...lets fix that.
"Leviathan and Belphie! Bring in the stretcher!"
The two neglected lads with the personalities of A4 paper dragged in a colossal size stretcher and attempted to pick me up.
I punched levi in the throat and belphie in the balls. Rendering them once again purposeless because if levi aint suckin dick and belphie aint fuckin then what are they even doin here?.
"I swear this is worse then the time i drank all the cough syrup and my parents called the cops on me" Asmo wailed as he lifted up the stretcher...
(Fun fact that actually happened to me, i slept in a hedge on a cliff face for two nights after surviving off nothing but kfc chicken and my saved up seven grand)
"Oh your not even that heavy y/n but you really should shave ur cooch" asmo said
"I'm not on it you stupid cunt!"
But satan's cat, albatross dumblecunty was.
"Oh so it seems your not" asmo laughed manically
"Let me help you up!" Mammon said, rushing over.
"Get your gerard way fingers off me!"
"Gerard way?"
"Idk the fuck just leave me alone i can walk."
I proceeded to not walk but rather hobble like a disfigured melmen from madagascar towards the nearest staircase.
"Now remember what those can do to your ankles y/n!" Lucifer shouted as he and his brothers watched me james charles it.
This content is heavily inspired and sponsored by sailor jerry's spiced rum, pirates of the caribbean dead mans chest and james charles.
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Obey Me ~ Lucifer X Reader ~ Luci Tales
FanfictionA series of adventures with Lucifer and his brothers. Featuring big titty anime bitches and Captain jack sparrow. When I wrote this I was not in my right mind yet I thought why not lose the 5 followers I do have. #diavoloandluci :) I'm turning this...
