An Assassin's Guide to Family

Chapter 58: Past

—————- Percy's POV: —————-

I cried a lot. The day I first killed someone was a day I wouldn't forget.

I stood above the body, shaking, my knife held in front of me had been dropped, clattering to the side.

I'd locked myself in the base that night, refusing to come out. That was until Talia came.

She always seemed to come at the perfect times.

Her knock had been swift, confident, and intense. Her voice matched it perfectly. "Orca, are you in here?" She knew I was in here. It was my room, all the other soldiers slept somewhere else so who else would lock the door.

I sniffled, looking up from my legs which I'd pulled up to my chest. I was hidden on the far side of the room behind my bed. I didn't respond.

I heard a small sigh. "I'm sorry." That piqued my interest. In the few months I'd been here she'd never once apologized. To anyone.

I lowered my legs, my mask was tossed to the opposite side of the room, small bits of red still visible even in the dark.

"I shouldn't have sent you out there unprepared, now can you let me in so I can help you?" I clenched my jaw. I'd heard similar things from Gabe when we first started off living in the same place. He'd hit my mom "accidentally" then would come to my door to "apologize" but whenever I opened the door I'd get hit too for running away.

"I'm fine." My voice broke mid sentence, if it wasn't clear before that I was crying, it was now.

I watched the shadow under the door stay still for a moment before it became larger and I heard her lean back against the door.

"You don't have to lie, we may be a group of assassins but we aren't heartless." She mumbled, her voice gentle. "Now how about we just talk? Does that sound okay?"

I watched the door for a moment longer before standing up and walking to the door slowly. I sat criss crossed in front of the door before mumbling a small yes.

"So, you were telling me about your dad when we met in the woods, is he shitty?" She asked quietly, like we were sharing a cup of coffee right now.

I wiped the tears from my face, my hand still shaking.

"No..." I said quietly. "His...his job stops us from communicating. He was never in my life till I met him at 12, and even then minimal contact. I think we talked once or twice that year. He tries now, so I can't be upset." I said, remembering the year before the war. I'd snuck off to camp but before I could meet everyone Dad had offered to take me on a boat trip for some father daughter time. I took it. It was one of the best trips I'd been on.

"Mmm" she said carefully. "He couldn't even take you in?" She asked.

"No." I fiddled my fingers, small clicks coming every time my nails clashed. "He lived too far away to come pick me up, and even then, he has other priorities, another family, I just wouldn't fit in." I knew that Triton and Amphirite would disagree, they loved me, but the issue came with the fact that I knew deep down it wouldn't work. Like I said, I didn't belong there.

"He would've taken you." She said, I furrowed my brow as I looked up to see the door, her figure still leaning against it. "Your voice gave you away, plus I know your self-destructive tendencies. You just don't want to bother him huh?" My nails stopped clicking, instead digging into my palms now.

"That's not true. He's busy, truly."

"Of course he is, but you still sound positive when talking about him, he didn't abandon you, at least not this time, you just never gave him the option to decide did you?" I scooted myself back as if it would work to place another barrier between us.

"I didn't." I eventually answered.

"You know Percy," I was slightly startled at the use of my name, from the time we decided on my secret identity she'd refused to call me anything but Orca. "You're not as bad as you think you are, or maybe even told you are, you're a good person. Even in killing you only choose the scummiest of the scummiest, it's like you're a walking light in a world of darkness. I'd be proud to have you as a daughter." I didn't realize it till another tear rolled down my cheek that I was crying. "If I were your mother, I'd never make you feel like a burden. You'd be by my side through the purifying of the world." I took a deep breath. She'd mentioned this topic before, her family's goal of making the world the best it could, one scumbag at a time. But somehow this comment made me feel good, like I'd done something right for a change.

Carefully I stood up and opened the door. Talia didn't fall back, instead she turned and looked at me with a caring face she'd not shown before. She watched me for a moment before holding out her arms. I got on my knees and hugged her. Her arms wrapped around me like some sort of secure rope. I relaxed, my body stopped shaking as she gently rubbed circles onto my back, her other hand placed firmly on the back of my head.

"You mean it?" I mumbled after a while. I felt her nod.

"I'd never lie about something like a personal connection." I took in deep breaths, my whole body now relaxed as she held me probably like a baby.

It took a few months for me to get better at the idea of killing, in those months Talia desensitized me instead of having me kill again. It was a slow and tedious process but slowly the idea of killing didn't send me into a spiral anymore. I merely focused on their bad deeds. I thought about it like I was just the early court they were seeing down in the underworld. Maybe a security guard.

Talia was a mother figure down in the base. Though, I never could trust a word she said, I'd seen her lie to multiple people, and every word sounded so terrifyingly convincing that even though I knew the information was wrong, a part of me desperately believed it to be real. And that was my life. She'd watch over me for a few years until I hit 18 and was old enough to live in my own apartment. She bought me my furniture and everything I needed.

I think she loves me like a daughter, but I never could be sure.

It never mattered though. She saved me, and I would forever be in her debt.

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