White Privilege

🔵 Chapter 17: Can't Be Helped

Baz's Pov

Pulling up to the club, I quickly parked and headed inside. I must have looked a little frantic as I came through the front cause as soon as Jason saw me he had worry etched all across his face.

"Where is she?" I questioned getting straight to the point.

"Your office. Some of the bottle girls got her to calm down until you got here" he replied.

"Thanks" I spoke before jogging to the back. When I came upon the door that led to my office I halted. Calming myself, I pushed the it open and stepped inside.

"Sebastian, your here finally" my mom sighed when her eyes fell upon me. I couldn't help but, smile hearing her use my full name. When I was younger I used to hate it but, now it provided comfort knowing that she still remembered. That I wasn't forgotten like everything else.

"Hey, how did you get here?" I questioned taking a seat beside her on the sofa. Long nights and after-hours made this sofa my second home.

"I still know how to take the bus. I'm not senile. I just get lost up here sometimes" she whispered tapping her temple.

"Sorry. The ladies at the home are probably looking for you though. You can't just leave without letting anyone know. It isn't safe" I breathed.

"Don't you talk to me about safe" my mom scoffed standing up.

"I didn't-" I started but, she cut me off before I could say another word.

"I know about not being safe. I buried my baby. My baby! My little boy, was shot on the street like he wasn't anybody! Like he didn't have a purpose! A mother isn't supposed to bury her damn kids!! That's not the way! That isn't right!" she yelled tears flowing down her face as she crumpled into a heap on my office floor.

"It's alright. I got you mama. I got you" I murmured kneeling and pulling her into my arms.

Slowly, I rubbed her back until she calmed down. It killed me to see one of the strongest women I knew be brought to her knees by grief. Part of me wanted to help her but, I didn't know how. Hell, I would give anyone to bring back Quan.

Once she was settled, I slowly walked her out of the office and to my car. The ride back home was quiet as she slept in my passenger seat. Only in sleep did she seem to get peace.

The drive there was about an hour. After checking her back in and making sure she was okay, I headed back to the club. All I wanted was to go home and sleep but, work had to be done.

I was driving onto the street where the club was located, when I saw red and blue flashing lights. Only ten feet from the club, I turned on my turning signal and pulled into the parking lot. Quickly, I placed my hands on the steering wheel and kept my eyes forward.

Outside you could hear the voices of the people lined up trying to get in. The police caught their attention but, I wasn't worried about that right now. Hearing the door slam, I knew the officer was coming up on my side. The flashlight glared into my window and I could barely make out his hand motion for me to roll it down.

"License and registration," he said.

"I'm going to grab it from the mirror," I said calmly. Once he nodded, I began to move my hands up and then pulled them down to grab my papers. After giving them to him I placed my hands back on the steering wheel.

"I'll be back, don't move," the officer said glancing at me one time before heading back to his patrol car.

By now I could hear more people outside. My hands had begun to sweat and shake as my heart beat in my chest loud enough that I was sure they could hear it from blocks away. Every day there was a story on the news of a black man getting shot by the police. The shit desensitized us at this point but, that didn't mean it didn't affect our everyday life.