HANNI POV
When I and Min got out of the library, I went home. I can't get out Min in my mind of what happened last night.
I'm happy with her, feeling comfortable in her arms but am I going to give up everything for her? Of course not, I built this reputation in school for years and she will just break it with one night? Don't make me laugh.
I decided to skip morning classes when I arrived at school, Jay invites me to have lunch with him at the canteen. I accepted it and we saw Jinni and Hyein there, and Jay invited them to be with us since they're my friends. Really? They are my friends?
As we have our conversation, Hyein hates Min. She wanted to bully the nerd so yeah, I admit, I'm worried for her. And I will not let that happen.
But it all disappeared when I saw her with Sullyoon. They ordered food and sat near us. How dare they sit near us? So they have the guts huh?
I can't control it as I kept looking at her but Yoona was being touchy to her. I fumed at the scene, I hate them being sweet. I hate Sullyoon because she can hold and hug Min in public. And I hate Min because she allowed Sullyoon to touch her like that in front of me!
I got mad so I did it to Min, I slid out my right foot so she will fall but I didn't expect that she will fall hard and would get a wound in her knee. I was so guilty.
I followed them to the clinic to know if Min was okay, and she was, I'm thankful because she's fine.
I went to the music room, I want to be alone to think but she came in and I was startled. I acted angrily and gave her harsh words but it also hurt me.
That time, maybe she had enough so she wanted me to tell her directly that I don't like her. I can lie to everyone but not to myself. I can't say it because I like her, I wanted her in my life.
Then she kissed me, I'm craving it. I pretended to hit her but when her tongue moved into my mouth gosh, I swear... I can't help it so I kissed back.
Her soft lips were so amazing, its' like a drug that makes me crazy. But I think we're being too fast. Am I a lesbian? I don't feel this way to other girls, only to Min. This is wrong so I pushed her and ran out.
I went into the locker room and I saw Jay there, he was sitting on the floor and waiting for me.
"Hanni, where did you go?" He stood up and I came closer to him.
I didn't say anything, I'm just staring at him. I know he likes me though our relationship is just an act. I don't deserve him that's why I think I can't like him back.
Jay is so kind to me, I know that he cares for me but I can't do the same. For me, we're just friends and nothing much.
But what about Min? In just one click, I like her, she made my guard down maybe because we're just the same. Min has nothing in her life. Maybe just because of that, I'm so eager to know what's happening to me.
"You're spacing out Hanni, do you have a problem?"
I shook my head."You're not going to say it again, please Hanni. Can you open yourself even for just once?" He pleaded.
Our gazes met, I could feel the intensity of it. I can't open myself to him or let's say I can't let him in my life. I don't want him to know about my miserable story.
I need to know this, I want to know something so I pulled his head and kissed him. This is the first time we kissed, it's completely different from Min. No sparks as I don't feel anything special.
It's not disgusting but I don't like the feeling of it. I pulled away, I must be crazy about my feelings.
"I'm sorry but I don't feel anything..." I mumbled I know he heard it because the corners of his mouth quirked down.
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