Xisuma: Cleo, you need to react when people cry!
Cleo: I did. I rolled my eyes
Doc: Get in loser, we're committing vehicular manslaughter!
Pearl: I made this friendship bracelet for you
Cleo: You know I'm not really a jewellery person
Pearl: You don't have to wear-
Cleo: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Fuck off
Xisuma: Grian is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure
Ren: I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you could imagine. I am the night. I am fury. I am a weapon. I am-
Pearl: A doll
Martyn: A cinnamon roll
Tango: A sweetheart
Ren: ....
Ren: ...stop it
Tango: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*
Tango: Nah, I'm just kidding. Fire does nothing to me
Scar: So jellyshish-
Grian: JELLYSHISH?
Scar: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!
Bdubs: You shouldn't get stressed like that. It's bad for the baby
Etho: What baby?
Bdubs, lip wobbling: Me
Grian: Do you cook?
Etho: Yeah I made a cake once
Bdubs: It was really good
Etho: Really?
Bdubs: Don't make me lie twice Etho
Scott: Hey quick question, how petty am I allowed to be?
Martyn: Anything else?
Cleo: Yeah! Stay away from me!
Martyn: Alright. I'll see you later in the house we share
Grian: Scar is that my mug you're drinking out of?
Scar: No, it's mine
Grian: It... looks just like the one I have
Scar: You don't have one like this anymore
Pearl: Wow! Cleo made you cry?
Ren, tearing up: Yes, and she said some really mean things which are only partly true
Fwip: While I'm gone, you're in charge Joel
Joel: Yes!
Fwip, whispering to Xisuma: You're secretly in charge, I just don't want them to feel bad
Xisuma: Obviously
Martyn: If I was married to you I'd put poison in your coffee
Cleo: If you were my husband, I'd drink it
Keralis: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on
Impulse: Is anyone d-
Bdubs: Depressed?
Xisuma: Drained?
Pearl: Dumb?
Martyn: Disliked?
Impulse: -Done with their work... what is wrong with you people
Cleo: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will
Doc: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?
Bdubs: Are you calling me short?
Doc: I'm calling you vertically challenged
Cleo: I hate you
Ren: Well according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue
Grian, tearing up the room: Where are they?!
Grian, looking under a pillow: Who moved them?! Who moved my children?!
Grian: Somebody moved my M&Ms and now I'm going to start killing
Sausage: Treat spiders how you want to be treated
Joey: Killed without hesitation
Ren: You remind me of the ocean
Doc: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Ren: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people
Jimmy: Ooh a train!
Scott: We're in a train station, Jimmy
Fwip: How many children do you have?
Xisuma: Biologically, legally or emotionally? Because there is a difference
Pearl: I'm having problems with a guy...
Cleo: Like his dead body won't fit in your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?
Etho: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of
Ren: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
Bdubs: We're getting married bitches!
Etho: And we're about to make it everyone's problem
Xisuma: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing
Grian: But ya' didn't!
Etho: You look mentally ill
Tango: I am. Let's go
Martyn: I was put in this earth to do one thing
Martyn: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want
Etho: *pulls back the curtain while Bdubs is showering*
Etho: Hey did we - stop screaming it's just me - did we run out of redstone?
Joel: Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
Xisuma: Hello Cleo, made anyone cry today?
Cleo: Sadly no. But it's only 4:30
Impulse: You believe me?
Xisuma: Impulse, you're the last good person on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning
Scar: I'd roast you but my mum says you can't burn trash
Scar: *slow-mo walks out of the room*
Etho: What goes up but never comes down?
Cleo: The amount of stress you're bringing this family
Scar: Hello friends!
Everyone:
Scar: You might be wondering why I'm taped to the ceiling
Grian: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE!
Jimmy: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!
Ren: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!
Bdubs: ...
Ren: Oh right, the lying
YOU ARE READING
Elusion (HermitcraftxEmpiresAU)
FanfictionSequel to Collision and Prequel to Closed Eyes. King Ren has been defeated and killed. But what's this? He's back? The Hermits and Emperors are scrambling to get back to normal after the events that unfolded when the Watchers nearly destroyed Empire...
