After having the abortion, I haven't been myself. Maybe it was because I felt guilty of making that decision.
But this wasn't my first time.
Middle school was HELL for me, and I will tell you why.
It all started 7th grade at this school which I didn't want to go to because some of my friends from elementary were going to a different school. And to be honest, I really hate change.
Luckily, there was this nice girl named, Jessica, introduced herself and in an instant, we became best friends. She really made me laugh a lot. She says I have this unique laugh, which is pretty weird.
A few months later, during Spring Break, my uncle raped me. And a few weeks after that, I knew I wasn't myself. I felt all nauseous and wouldn't eat in the morning and would eat alot later in the day.
Then that's when I knew, I'M PREGNANT!
I didn't know what to do or what to think? I was so scared and terrified because I never thought I would get pregnant at 14.
A month later, my history teacher Ms._______, told me to meet her afterschool. I went to her class and then she said, "How are you? You haven't been really participating in my class lately? Especially when we exercise outside? You okay?"
"I'm fine. I've been sick for a while. Might go see the doctor today". I lied.
"Alright. I just wanted to see that you're okay. If you need anything, just tell me".
I don't know why but I just told her.
"Ms._______, I think I might be pregnant. And I'm scared. I really don't know what to do. And I'm telling you this because I trust you. Please help me".
After I told her that. She got up from her chair and hugged me, so tight and she whispered, "I know this is scary for you. You'll get through this okay? I promise you will".
The next day I was called down to see the school counselor and Ms._______ was there. I saw them talking and when I went in they stopped talking and stayed quiet.
"Please sit". The school counselor said.
"We called you down here because of the conversation you had with Ms._______. You're not in any trouble. I just want to hear what and how it happened.
I started to cry and said,"Well you know I'm pregnant, and I was raped by a family member".
"We have to call the police and report this. And also, we have to call your parents and bring them here so we can talk to them about what's going on." The counselor said.
"YOU CAN'T! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! They will get mad at me!"
"We will be with you when you tell them. It's not you're fault, not at all. It's his fault, and he deserves to go to jail for what he did to you" Ms.______
"Okay. I'm going to the office to call your parents. I will be back" School counselor said. (Left the room and me and Ms.______ left alone).
"Can I tell you something?" Ms._______
"Sure".
"You're one of my best students I ever had. Do you know why?"
"No, why?"
"Because you're so brave to tell me and so mature on how you are handling it. I'm proud of you. Honest. Whatever decision you make, just remember I will be 100% on your side. I promise".
I started crying after she said that. She was probably saying those things to make me happy or making me not get nervous.
A few hours later, my parents came to the school. My parents sitting across from me and the counselor and Ms._______ by my side hold my hands.
Ms._______ said, "You're daughter might think that she is pregnant".
My mother started crying and my father excused himself and left the room. I started crying and squeezing Ms.______ hard. My dad came back to the room and said,"Who is the father?"
"Uncle ______"
"Oh my god! Why didn't you tell us about this before?!" My mother said
"I tried mom. I tried so many times and you wouldn't listen!"
Then the school counselor said, "There is options for your daughter, there is 1.Keeping the baby
2. Open or Closed Adoption
3. Terminating the pregnancy
I know this is difficult for all of you, but we have to keep in mind that we have to not pressure her".
"She is keeping the baby. She is not having an abortion. It's against our religion!" My father said.
"Dad I.......I don't want to have a baby. I still want to be a teenager. You're making this like it's my fault, but it's not! "
"You have a choice _______, it's your choice not theirs. Make a decision that you are 100% sure about. Don't let your father or us pressure you to make the decision for you". School counselor said.
"I'm taking my daughter home!" My father said.
I was absent for a week from school and Ms.______ and the school counselor wanted to know if I was okay. They kept calling my parents and emailing them, but they wouldn't answer them.
I came back to school and the school counselor saw me and gave me a huge hug and saying,"Are you okay? I haven't heard from you or your parents for awhile?"
"They want me to have the baby. They said if I don't, they would have kicked me out. It's okay, I'm still here".
She gave me another huge hug and whispered in my ear, "I will be by your side because I know that you're parents are still having a hard time adjusting the situation that you're in and I heard that they're not going to press charges against your uncle, but one day you will be brave enough and you will press charges. Everyday I will check up on you to see if you are okay. Okay?"
"Just don't watch me like a hawk okay?"
She laughed and said "I promise".
I still don't know why my parents didn't press charges. You'll will find out soon!
