I ditched school for the second time, but what's the point of going if I'm going to have subs all day.
So I took three buses to get to my uncle's house and confront him.
The whole time when I was on the bus, I was trying to figure out of what I was going to say to him and not hesitate and hold back all the anger I had. I'm not scared of him, I'm ready to take this big step forward and confront his ass!
I got off the last bus and walked about 3 blocks and stopped right in front of his house and I just stared in fear. Remembering this place was hell for me. Every time my family and I would come over to this house, he would molest me or rape me. This was the place where he ruined me.
Then I heard the front door open and I see his wife, (my godmother), stepping out and walking to her car with my cousin. And just thought, "Wow. She grew so much! Haven't seen her for two years! I miss her". But I definitely didn't miss my godmother, she betrayed me. I just miss the good times we have. Those good times are just memories that will haunt me forever.
When I saw her open the door, I literally panicked and hid in a bush. I was waiting until they left. When they left, I was just covered in leaves and I said to myself, "Phew! That was close!"
I walked to the front door, taking my time, and ranged the door bell and the door opened and HE opened it. I see him and I just froze, he just stood there surprised, surprised that I had the guts to go up to him.
I took a glance at him, and he was the same. Tall, skinny, and still had a beer in his hand.
I asked him trembling, "May I come in? Please?"
He opened the door more for me then I went in and the house was just the same. Even the smell of alcohol in the living room through the kitchen.
He asked me, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"You know exactly what I'm doing here! Don't even try to manipulate me like you did to my godmother!"
"Haha. Yeah it was pretty easy, to tell you the truth. Just telling her how crazy you were about me just immediately triggered her to believe me, her husband, than her blood, her god daughter. Sad isn't it?" He laughed.
"Why did you do this to me? I didn't deserve this. You ruined me. Was it easy for you? 'Preying' on the ones who were quiet like me?"
He laughed and said, "Yes. Exactly like that". He walked towards me and started to brush my hair back and slurring his words and said, "You were special to me. I mean I couldn't have enough of you". He touched my stomach and said, "Even the times I tried to get you pregnant and have my child".
I pushed him and yelled, "YOU ARE MENTALLY SICK YOU KNOW THAT! And you know what you 'completed your mission'. I did get pregnant 3 times. I had an abortion. I had a miscarriage. And I gave birth which was the most terrifying thing I ever did in my life and it will haunt me the rest of my life and......."
He dropped his can of beer and yelled, "Wait, I have a child?" he felt accomplished.
"Yes, and you know what? I'm surprised you haven't figured it out. I gave you my permission to have my child and you did. Come on, 'my cousin'. The one you and your wife adopted. It was me that gave up her child. I wanted a closed adoption so you know it was me".
"Wait.... why did you do that? We could have been a family?"
"You already have a family. Your in denial wife and your daughter, My daughter('cousin')".
I was crying and said, "I want you to turn yourself in. I want you to confess everything you did to me, and I mean everything! Including my daughter!"
"She's not yours anymore! You gave her up! Remember?"
"We'll see about that. I will take you to court".
And I left the house. Running to the bus stop, just in case he was going to follow me. My heart was pounding so fast! I couldn't breathe after that.
Before I went home. I stopped at a day care center where my daughter was. I wanted to see her and see of she remembers me.
I walked in and I see a lot of little kids playing with toys and I see her. She's is not a baby anymore. I signed in for "Volunteer Hours" and I immediately went to her.
"Hey little girl".
She looked at me and she said my name. She hugged me and I didn't want to let her go.
The whole time she was telling me how fun it is to be here and how I should come by more to play with her.
It was getting late and I told her, "Don't tell your mom or dad I came okay? If you don't tell, I will come visit again. I promise. Deal?"
I put my pinky out and she said with a giggle, "I pinky swear".
I gave her a big hug goodbye and left. I couldn't believe I gave her up. Why did I do that?
I can't wait to see her again
