Us Against The World

We All Have A Past

Today is appointment day, we go check out baby Taylor. A part of me was nervous but excited at the same time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not worthy enough to carry another child since I aborted a child. I was in a dark place for a long time after I made that decision. I didn't have no one to talk to without the fear of being judged. People could be so cruel regarding this topic. It was definitely something that I've struggled with but I know I made the best decision for me and that's all that matter.

Even though this was part of my past I felt like I needed to tell Zac.

Fatima: Hey babe can you come here for a second

Zac: Yeah give me a second I'll be up there in a minute

What's up

Fatima: Come over here and sit next to me I want to talk to you about something

Zac: Uh Oh this sounds serious what happened?

Fatima: Nothing bad just come on it is serious though

Zac: Okay let me put on my serious face

Fatima: So we have the appointment for the baby today and I just wanted to let you know just in case the question is asked. I've never told anyone this before but I had an abortion in my last relationship. It was a decision I made for me and now looking back on the situation I'm glad that I made the right decision. He didn't even wait for me to heal before he left me and got married. I've never felt so alone and hurt and to think I thought this person was my soulmate.

That situation really broke me down to the point I had to build myself back up and love myself all over again. Once I did that I promised myself to not put myself in that situation again.

Zac: Is that why you gave me such a hard time

Fatima: Partially yeah, I know I act tough and strong but it's to protect my own heart.

Zac: I'm glad you trusted me with your heart and let down your guard. I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to share that with me. I'm glad he messed up because if he didn't we wouldn't be sitting here right now and you carrying my child.

Whatever struggles you went through before me was just a stepping stone to get you to where you are now. We've all made some tough decisions but that doesn't make us less of a person.

Fatima: I know but some times I feel like I'm not deserving because of the decisions I've made

Zac: You can't look at it that way, you are deserving of everything and I mean everything

Fatima: I just want everything to go smoothly

Zac: Everything will be fine and if something crazy comes along you got me we in this together.

He hugged Fatima from behind with his hands on her stomach

Close your eye

Dear God for this next chapter in our life I ask that you guide both of us. I ask that you erase any doubt or fear that Fatima is having. Give her the strength that she needs to push through even when she feels she's not worthy. We are praying for a healthy baby and a healthy journey for Fatima as she grows our child inside of her. And though we are not perfect I ask that you forgive us for our sins. Thank you for all that you are doing and continuing to do in our lives. Continue to keep your hands on us. In Jesus name Amen

Fatima: Amen.

Wiping the tears from Fatima's face

Fatima: I've never heard you pray before

Zac: I've had to call on him a lot lately. I've been having my own one on one time with him. It's been helping me especially with all that I have going on.