The Nevermore Reunion

Bruises

"What the hell is that on your neck?!" Cassie said in horror when I met up with her and Brianna a few days later. My lovebite bruise had turned a blueish green now but I wore it proudly.
"You've been branded by Weems!" Brianna exclaimed.
"Is it sore? I might have something here..." Cassie said rummaging in her handbag for some sort of cream or ointment.
"It was at first but I'm fine" I reassured her.
"You should see some of the ones Jamie has given me-" Brianna started.
"Too much information Brie!" Cassie interrupted.
"Oh stop being such a prude! Give it time and you'll have a few from Max..." Brianna teased and Cassie's cheeks turned bright red.
"Come now you two" I said, diffusing the situation.
"Fine! But seriously, how are things going with Weems?" Brianna asked.
"It's going well, she's asked me to go to the Rave'N with her" I told them.
"No way!" Brianna said excitedly.
"Yeah I know..." they sensed the reserve in my voice.
"Why aren't you more excited?" Cassie asked.
I sighed, "it's just...when we're behind closed doors or somewhere that not many people know us she's all over me and it's like we're a proper couple. But when we're at the school or in town it's like I'm just another teacher".
"Well she is the Principal now so she probably has to keep it professional with you, especially around the students" Cassie said.
"I guess so, it just makes me question where things are going and how she really feels about me".
"She's asked you to be her date for the dance so that's a great sign!" Brianna said optimistically.
"I know, I just don't want her tiptoe around me the whole night. We should be dancing together and holding hands like everyone else".
"Give her some time, she'll let her guard down sooner or later" Cassie said, putting her hand on mine.
"You're right. Anyway, enough about me! Tell us everything!"
Cassie smiled coyly and told us all about how Max confessed his feelings and won her heart. It sounded like something from a cheesy rom com but I was so happy for them. They were going on their first official date tomorrow night!

All that talk of Larissa made me miss her, so I messaged her a little later on:

N: 'Hey. You got some free time today? Xx'
L: 'Hi. Yes I should be done by later this afternoon. Why? X'
N: 'Fancy a drink? Xx'
L: 'Yes please! Can you come to my office around 4pm? X'
N: 'Sure. Looking forward to it already. Xx'
L: 'Me too my darling. X'

*

As planned I met Larissa at the school later that afternoon. She smothered me with kisses as soon as I entered her office.
"It's been a bloody long day, let's get out of here" and before I had a chance to respond she dragged me back downstairs to the car. She looked so big in my little two-door hatchback but she never complained.
With my previous conversation with Brianna and Cassie on my mind, I purposely took us into Jericho and we went for a drink at the Weathervane.
Larissa sighed with relief as we sat down in a booth. I went up to the counter and ordered an iced tea for myself and a latte with a slice of cake for her. She was surprised when the chunk of chocolate cake was placed in front of her.
"Oh! Excuse me, I didn't order this" she told the waiter.
"No I did, I thought you needed a sweet treat after your long day" I said.
"That's very kind of you dear" she said, the waiter nodded at me then left.
She told me all about her day as she sipped her coffee and tucked into her cake. I didn't take in much of what she said, I was too busy admiring her. She was so passionate about the school and the students, I hoped they appreciated her for it.

When we finished I casually placed my hands in the middle of the table to see if she would hold them, like she usually would on one of our dates. But she didn't, I could see her eyeing them so I knew she wanted to but was holding back. Just as her hand twitched and she attempted to reach mine we heard a deep voice, "good afternoon Larissa".
"Mayor Walker!" Larissa said, like she'd just seen God. She quickly pulled her hand away and jumped out of her seat to greet him.
They chatted for a bit like I wasn't there but during a brief pause Mayor Walker spotted me.
"Oh how rude of me! Hello I'm Mayor Noble Walker and you are?" as we shook hands I opened my mouth to speak but Larissa cut me off.
"This is Naomi Winters. She's...a Nevermore alumni and is teaching Wednesday Addams the violin". It wasn't a lie but she spoke very quickly as if it was, now she was keeping it too professional.
"Excellent, I hope Ms. Addams isn't giving you too much trouble," he joked.
"Not at all, in fact she's doing really well. Music is a good therapy tool" I said looking at Larissa with a false smile painted on her face. Her whole demeanour changed in this man's presence, she was more astute, overly polite and a little flirty. I hated it.
"Indeed it is. I'll have to come along to another one of your recitals Larissa, you do play beautifully".
My blood boiled as she blushed and giggled like a silly schoolgirl and he chuckled arrogantly.
"What the fuck is going on here?!" I thought to myself angrily.
"Well I'll leave you ladies to your day. Lovely to see you as always Larissa".
He patted her arm and his eyes lingered on her a few seconds too long.
He turned to me "nice to meet you Ms. Winters".
"Farewell Noble!" she said jovially and sat back down as he went up to the counter. I stared into my empty glass watching the ice melt feeling numb.
Larissa eventually broke the silence, "what's wrong Naomi?"
I needed to say so many things but this wasn't the place.
"I'll drive you home, we'll talk there".

We drove in silence all the way back to Larissa's house. My hands gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter whenever I thought of her and Mayor Walker's interaction. I wasn't usually the jealous type but something about that whole thing really bothered me. Would this happen every time we ran into someone she knew? She'd go out of her way to cover up our connection?
I had been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt previously. But I couldn't see why she was still keeping our relationship hidden away, we weren't doing anything wrong! I loved her and I wanted her to love me, now I was starting to question if she would ever feel the same way.

She sat on the couch when we entered her living room but I was too tense so I remained standing, fiddling with my car keys.
"Darling you're scaring me, what's wrong?" she pleaded.
I took a deep breath, "why don't you ever kiss me or hug me in public?"
"What?"
"Answer the question Larissa".
She sighed and looked away from me.
"It's not that I don't want to. I just..." she thought about her answer, "I have a professional reputation to uphold. I'm the Principal here, how would it look if I was seen fraternising with a former student?"
"Is that what this is to you? Fraternising?" I said accusingly.
"No! I...care about you a lot".
"You seem to care more about your reputation than me. You couldn't even hold my hand at the Weathervane and don't even get me started on Mayor Walker!"
"Is that what this is about? Are you jealous of him?"
"Should I be?!"
"No..."
But I could tell she was hiding something, I stared at her with my jaw clenched until she broke.
"...we shared a kiss. Once. It was years ago but I think she still holds a torch for me".
"I fucking knew it" I said, shaking my head.
"You don't understand! Noble is a powerful person in this town, we have to maintain a good relationship to keep Nevermore going".
"I get that but you're allowed to have a life of your own! I'm twenty-four now and you're not my Principal so we're not doing anything wrong!"
She stared at the ground, "but that's exactly it, you're twenty-four...and I'm forty-four".
My heart sank as the realisation hit me, it was our age gap that was the problem. Why didn't she tell me this before?
"That's what's been bothering you? You know I don't care about that".
"But I do! I have to!" she shouted as she stood up.
"So what am I to you then? A dirty little secret? A toy for you to play with?"
"No! I...I..." she trailed off and didn't give me an answer. I growled in frustration.
"Tell me honestly Larissa...do you think you could ever love me?"
She paused and closed her eyes, bracing herself to tell me.
"I-I don't know".
Those three words cut me deeply and confirmed my suspicions that this love really was one-sided. I sighed with disappointment.
"You know how I feel about you, how I've always felt. These past few months have been like a dream come true. But if our age gap bothers you that much and you don't see this going anywhere...then I'm not going to put myself, or you, through any more torture".
She darted over to me and held my face in her hands like she had so many times before, but this time her eyes were filled with a different kind of desperation. It was breaking my heart but I couldn't do this anymore.
"No Naomi please-"
"I'm sorry Larissa. I love you too much for that".
I moved her hands away and quickly left, trying not to let her see me cry.

When I pulled up outside my flat and I just sat there. Tears rolling down my face. I felt like such a fool. My head was buzzing with so many thoughts that it physically hurt. The worst thing was I still loved Larissa and missed her so much already.
She gave no indication that our age gap bothered her before, was she making it up to cover something else? Did she just use me for kicks? My self-doubt also started to set in. Had I overreacted? Did I just ruin things by blaming it on her? I fell onto my hands on the steering wheel and wept. Then I called someone who I knew would have the patience to listen and the wisdom to help me.
"Hello?"
"Jamie? Can you come over please? I need someone" I cried down the phone.
"I'll be there in twenty".