《stray together》

Piece Of Trash

There was plenty of extra time, and silence, while waiting on Lino's deals. After he stopped crying from the secret personal mission of the prostitution tunnels, he had told Han the first drug deal location, and they drove there without saying anything. While they waited, quiet filled the vehicle. Until Han couldn't handle the quiet any longer. It was too thick, too heavy. Like he could hear his own thoughts at a volume that was unbearable, and felt that soon he would be able to hear Lino's too. He knew the older had pain somewhere within him, but his refusal to speak about it left them at a stand still, of just lingering in misery, which lead to Han's mind coming to its own conclusions.

The unease had reached its limit, and Han shifted in his seat. "Since you don't want to talk about yourself, would it make you feel better if I talked about my past?" Han offered, eyes looking down to avoid any negative reaction Lino may have.

Due to the silence being broken suddenly, Lino sat a little stiff. "I don't see how that would make me feel better." He spat, words being more harsh than he intended. He knew Han had good intentions, but he didn't know how to communicate well.

"Well..." Han rubbed his neck timidly, "It might take your mind off yours, even for just a little while. Plus, you trusted me today, so I'll make us even."

Lino wasn't sure if Han had figured it out. It mortified him to think he had. But, who was he kidding? It was obvious, wasn't it? He knew, at the very least, Han had a good guess as to what he went through.

"So, as you know, my dad was a drug addict," Han started, giving Lino no chance to decline, "Shot me up with something daily to essentially not have a kid at all, so he could do whatever he wanted. Bring prostitutes home, and God knows what other things I was too young and high to comprehend." He told, waving his hands around as he spoke. His expression seemed unphased, at least to Lino.

With his arms on his knees, since he had his feet pulled up in the seat, Lino leaned forward to rest his head on his forearm, giving Han his full attention.

Noticing that, Han felt warm, that maybe he was helping Lino. It gave him a boost to continue. "My mom left when I was still a baby, from all his cheating." He sighed, voice becoming smaller when he went on to say, "I don't know why she didn't take me with her... When I got older, he figured he could just tell me to mind my business and that would do the job, but by then, my body relied on the drugs. He got jealous that I needed some of his drugs, that I wasn't doing anything for them, so he started getting physically abusive. I... left, couch surfed, got money here and there, eventually just ended up on the streets. But I mean, it isn't easy, being an addict. The toll on your body, the shitty way you feel, the way my whole life is spent working towards more drugs, because I was forced into addiction."

"Mm." Lino hummed to acknowledge what was said to him.

Han paused, thinking it over, if he wanted to share the thing he was most ashamed of. "I..... I didn't leave actually. One day he beat me so bad I couldn't lift a finger, and then, choked me until I passed out. I woke up in a dumpster. He threw me away, like a piece of trash. I guess he thought he strangled me." Han's expression finally faltered, revealing how hurt he was.

"I'm sorry." Lino whispered, tears stinging his eyes. His chest felt heavy, just thinking about it.

"You're the only person I've told that part to." Han admitted. Not as a trade, or to get Lino to reciprocate, but just as a statement. His need for acceptance, and desire to be included, to have something that resembled family, all stemmed from the lack of one be had. He just wanted to be wanted for once.

"It didn't work." Lino muttered softly, rapidly blinking to make the tears retract.

Furrowing his brows, Han asked, "What didn't work?"