and it was perfect

Chapter 35

It was a thirty-minute walk, and finally getting out of the room and getting some fresh air felt amazing. It helped me clear my head. I was on a mission. I wouldn't show Aiden how much it hurt. He must know I was in pain, why else would I disappear for four days straight. But I wouldn't show him how much he crushed me, how deep my feelings actually were. Instead, I would go back to normal, back to him ignoring me like when I had just moved in. And maybe, when it was getting too hard, I would move out.

I had already started looking for rooms available this morning. There wasn't much, it was the middle of the semester, and this town wasn't big. But if I just searched properly enough, I'd hopefully find something. The unspoken roommate rule made more and more sense to me, and I absolutely hated it. Finally, I reached our street and saw the small brick house. Aiden's Jeep wasn't there. I instantly relaxed a little. I knew I had to face him at some point, but the later, the better. Zacks's Renault stood there, and so did Zoe's Corolla. I knew she was waiting. I walked over to the porch, took a deep breath, and unlocked the door.

It felt weird coming back. Nothing had changed; our shoes covered half of the entryway, the keys were randomly tossed into the little bowl, it smelled like coffee, and the pillows and blankets on the couch were spread out in their usual mess. I took off my shoes and slowly walked in. Zack was sitting on the couch, playing with his headphones on. He immediately stopped the game and took them off when he saw me. "There you are!" He quickly got up and crossed the room with long steps. "Hey." I quietly answered. He hugged me tightly. I pressed myself against him and took in his familiar scent and heartbeat. He really was my second favorite. Aiden ... had been thrown miles off my list.

"We've missed you around here. How are you feeling?" I shrugged my shoulders and finally let go of him. He dragged me towards the sofa. Zoe must have heard my arrival, I heard some quick steps running down the stairs, and she pulled her arms around me even tighter than Zack. "I'm so glad you're back. I was so worried. I kept harassing Gene, but he wouldn't tell me a thing." She finally let go for a second so we could sit on the couch. Then she put my hands in hers.

Both of them stared at me in worry and curiosity. "You said it was a bad phase. Are you feeling any better?" I slowly nodded. "Yeah, I am. It comes and goes. I know I should see a therapist at some point." I looked down. That wasn't even a lie. Zoe stroked my hand and nodded. "Yeah, you should." Zack quietly agreed. "I hope you don't mind Zoe telling me more about what happened. You sort of told me at that party, and then you just disappeared, and I -" I shook my head and gave him a little smile. It hurt. I felt like my mouth wasn't used to moving upward anymore. "I really don't mind, Zack. Thank you, guys, for caring so much about me." Zoe squeezed my hand again. "Of course we do." Zack agreed.

"Anyways." I continued. I knew they wouldn't leave me alone until I gave them a somewhat satisfying answer. "I had some really bad dreams and didn't want to bother any of you guys anymore with it. I just didn't want to be in my room or this house where they kept continuing. So, I kind of ... needed a break for a little while. It had nothing to do with you but the whole situation. I hope that makes sense." Zoe pulled me back in her arms again. "Of course it does. And we missed you like crazy." Zack grabbed my free hand and stroked it. "Next time this happens, please let us know. We're more than happy to help, Jen. We're your friends." I gave them another smile; this time, it really came from my heart. "You guys are the best."

We stayed quiet for a while, both of them comforting me. "This week was such a mess." Zack finally commented and got up to grab us some water. "You being gone, the stove broke, and it took hours to fix it, and Aiden was even grumpier than usual. I stiffened a little, glad Zoe wasn't hugging me anymore, so she couldn't feel it. "Oh, was he." I simply replied. "You know him; he's got his phases as well. And he was also worried about you; we all were."