and it was perfect

Chapter 42

The bright light in the emergency room made me flinch, and I didn't understand why I was there. Would they just rip out my heart and finally make it stop? I'd gladly accept it. Instead, they sat me down and lifted my feet, a bunch of nurses gathering around me. One of them was talking to me, but I didn't hear a thing. Aiden had slept with another girl. Then I felt a sting in my arm and looked down. There was a needle inside of my arm now. I looked at it in disbelief. But then I finally felt some sharp pain in my legs. I screamed. I looked down at them. My foot, my calves ... everything was covered in blood, a few shatters still stuck in them. I screamed again. I couldn't look at blood. Why wouldn't they wipe it away? I started shaking again; I once again forgot how to breathe. Then everything turned black.

When I woke up, everything was still way too bright. I opened my eyes. I felt ... numb. Absolutely numb. Where was I? I was lying in a small metal bed, my feet covered in bandages. It was a small hospital room with ugly yellow walls and some uninspired meaningless paintings staring at me. "Jen, you're awake! Oh my God, I'm so glad." I heard Zoe's shaking voice and turned my head. She was sitting next to me on a plastic chair, holding my hand and looking as small and wrecked as I'd never seen her before. She threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me tightly. "Oh my God, I was so scared. So so scared. Why the hell did you just walk right through the glass? Why did you run away?" her voice started shaking even worse.

I slowly pressed one hand against her, still feeling nothing. She sat back down again, her cold hands tightly wrapped around mine, and looked at me; her big brown eyes widened in worry. "Please ... what happened, Jen? Please tell me." I swallowed. My throat felt worse than sandpaper. The memories started flooding back. "He slept with her, Zoe. He just slept with her." I whispered. Her eyes widened in shock. "Who? Who slept with whom?!" I stared at the white door in front of me. "Aiden."

Zoe gasped. "Aiden?! But why would Aiden sleeping around as usual - oh my God." She pressed her hand against her mouth. I gave her a sad smile and answered her unspoken question. "Yeah." She gasped again, and sat on the bed beside me. "You ... have feelings for Aiden?" She quietly whispered. I laughed again, hard. "I love him." Her mouth fell open, and she just stared at me for a few seconds.

"Oh, my God." Then she hugged me again, and the tears started falling again. "I'm so sorry, Jen. I'm so incredibly sorry. I had no idea." She continued to whisper and rock me back and forth while I cried and cried and cried. "But ... how?" I wiped away some tears and slowly began. Praying that it would take off my pain if I just shared it. "We. I- ... kind of had a thing for him since I moved in. It kept getting worse, and at some point, he realized he was attracted to me too."

Zoe knew what was coming. "Oh no." I gave her a painful smile. "We had sex for a few weeks, but not before he made it very clear that this was only physical. And that we wouldn't tell a soul." I laughed hard. "You know him." She let out a deep breath but wanted me to continue. "It was great, Zoe, it was so fucking great, and I'm not just talking about the sex. We became friends, he helped me so much through everything with Nate, he brought me places ... it was no longer just a damn agreement."

I swallowed hard and tried to push back all the good memories he and I had shared. The tears started rolling faster again. "Then he saw me kissing Gene, and he totally freaked out, you know the story. It wasn't just because he didn't wanna share me in bed or overreacting because of Nate, Zoe. It was because he fucking cared for me, too." I sobbed again but had to push through this before losing all my strength.

"He was mad at me, but we made up again. Things got great again. I slowly started wondering if maybe he'd feel something, too. But then he found out about my feelings and -" Zoe slapped her hand against her mouth and started crying. "Oh my God, that was me. I told him I thought you'd be in love. I had no idea." Now she was sobbing as well. "I never would have - Fuck, Jenna, I'm so sorry, I didn't know." She hugged me again, and I tried to calm her, although I was shaking myself. "It's fine, Zoe. I'm not mad at you. You had no idea." She sobbed but asked me to continue, trying to calm herself down.
"What- what happened then?"