and it was perfect

Chapter 37

Three days later, I could finally smile again. Zoe, Gene, and my roommates had done their very best to distract me, and it slowly started to work. Aiden got back to ignoring me. He was hardly home anyway, doing extra shifts at the shop or wherever else he went that I had no idea of. He left in the middle of the night for two nights in a row, once again for some sort of emergency.

Now it was Friday, and Zoe had convinced me to finally go out again. I still didn't feel like it. But maybe he would be there, and I just had to know what he would do if any girls approached him. I had to know if he would give in now that our arrangement was over. I prayed that he wouldn't. I put on a plain black slip dress and some boots, then Zoe and I applied some light makeup and did some pre-drinks.

It didn't take much for me to feel tipsy. The last night I went out must have been the one where Aiden and I went clubbing. My heart ached just thinking about that night, it had easily been one of the bests in my entire life. I squeezed my eyes shut while feeling the cool liquor burning it's way down my throat. I wasn't allowed to cry just yet.

Tonight's destination was a huge frat party only three blocks away, so we decided to walk. In there, the music was blasting, and the heat of dozens of bodies being pressed against each other or filling the voids in their lives with alcohol took my breath away. I immediately made my way to the provisional bar. You couldn't stand this heat being sober. I walked into Lynn, and we started chatting for a while; my eyes continuously scanning the crowd for his tall dark silhouette. He didn't seem to be here. And although I felt the relief pulsating through me, I couldn't shake the longing of wrapping my arms around him in a crowd just like I had done what felt like a lifetime ago. I didn't mind Zoe dragging me back to the bar after a while to grab even more shots with Taylor and Matt. I had to end those never ending thoughts. Then they pulled me towards the dance floor. The alcohol slowly started reaching my brain, and I finally lost myself in the music.

Taylor grabbed my hand, and I put it around his neck. It was nothing compared to Aiden holding me, but it still felt good. I closed my eyes for a second and smiled, feeling his hands resting loosely on my waist. This was more fun than expected - at least while being drunk now. When I opened them again and looked up he was watching me, a smile playing around his lips. It made me smile even wider. Then I felt the eyes darting inside my back. I knew who it was. I turned my head. Leaning against the staircase, he was looking at Taylor and me; clenching his jaw. My heart instantly started racing. As soon as our eyes crossed he immediately looked away. I know you hate this. He looked as beautiful as ever, wearing that blue-grey shirt I loved and black pants.

He had come. And a huge part of me wished he hadn't.

I couldn't help but stare at him twirling the drink in his hand and looking everywhere but Taylor and me. Then both of our attentions shifted to a blonde silhouette approaching him. It was Reed. Her long fingers possessively wrapped themselves around his arm while she tilted her head to kiss his cheek. He just loosely rested his hand on her back to hug her back but I instantly felt my stomach flip. I quickly averted my gaze and let go of Taylor's neck. I couldn't watch this. Did she know he was available again now? Was that it? All over? I had to get out of here. I quickly excused myself and stumbled my way through the crowd. Taylor called after me but I didn't even try to understand. I went outside the screen door and took some deep shaking breaths. This couldn't be happening. Not so soon. Not with her. I sat down. He just comforted me a few days ago. I could see his pain. Instead of the tears I had expected to form behind my eyes, I felt the anger and frustration of the last days slowly but steadily raising to the surface. I knew for a fact that he had feelings for me. I couldn't find any more excuses. I had seen it. And I wouldn't give up so easily.

I got up angrily and made my way back through the crowd. Had I told Gene that I'd never make a scene? How quickly you could change your mind. He was still standing there, her talking to him, finishing his drink. "Would you excuse us for a second?" I interrupted her and gave her a sweet fake smile. I had no idea what he saw in her. Yes, she was pretty, but her eyes were hollow and scanned me arrogantly up and down. For the very first time in my life I wanted to punch another girl, but I firmly grabbed Aiden's arm instead and dragged him back outside the door.