and it was perfect

Chapter 40

Zoe fell asleep after a while, holding me tightly in her arms, but I was unable to even close my eyes. I couldn't believe all of this. My slight chance of ever getting back at Nate had just vanished. Although her arms held me, I felt like I was falling apart. There was so incredibly much happening lately. It was too much. And as much as I loved Zoe, her comfort simply wasn't enough. I let out one more deep breath, then I slowly unwrapped her arm. He'd come over an hour ago, to check in on me for a second and to quietly talk outside with Zoe for a moment, then he'd gone into his room. She hadn't told me what he had said, no matter how much I begged. But at least I knew he was home.

She frowned in her sleep but thankfully didn't wake up. I quietly left her room and crossed the few steps toward his door. I prayed that he was sleeping or at least tired by now. Too tired to push me away. This was so low, even for me. But he was the only person on this planet that could help me right now. I swallowed and slowly turned the doorknob.

It was dark, and I could barely see his closed eyes through the sliver of moonlight shining into his room. His chest was barely covered, and the sight of his beautiful face made my heart painfully squeeze together. If he rejected me right now, I didn't know what I would do. I quietly sat down on his bed and rubbed a hand over my face. I was still crying as I barely noticed. "Aiden?" I quietly whispered. He immediately shot up. "J, what the -" He didn't finish his sentence when he saw my face. "Please don't make me go." I desperately whispered and dug a fist into his sheets. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, letting out a deep breath. "Jenna, please go back to Zoe's. You shouldn't be here right now." Of course, he'd say that. I pressed my lips together to stifle the sob that was about to leave my mouth. "I can't do this, Aiden; please help me. I -"I lost my words again. He couldn't hide the pain in his eyes but shook his head. "I'm sorry, but you have to leave." Now I couldn't hide my sobs anymore. I tightly wrapped my arms around me as it felt like I would just splatter if I didn't. He was just inches apart, yet so so far away. "I'm begging you, just for tonight, I -"I nearly choked on my voice. "I can't do this." He frustratedly rubbed his face. "Just one night." I crumbled even more together. "That's so wrong, J. I can't." At least he still called me my nickname. But it so wasn't enough. "So what if you do it, you're still gonna hate me and I'll have to deal with it anyway. Just give me that one night." I was so goddamn pathetic. "That's not how this works."

Then a thought crossed my mind and I winced. "Did those photos ..." he let out a frustrated groan and immediately fell in. "Fucksake, why would you think that? I'm simply trying to do the right thing here." At least he wasn't disgusted by me now ... "I don't, I -" With shaking hands, I grabbed his hand; I just had to feel his touch, even just for a brief moment. I could feel his scraped knuckles - I knew it. "You wouldn't say this if you knew how fucking badly I need you right now." He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "I can't." - "Please, Aiden. Please just make it stop." I desperately whispered. He let out another frustrated breath, and somehow he looked angry. But then he finally looked up. "This will never happen again after tonight." he whispered. And as soon as those words left his mouth, he closed all the distance between us, and his lips crashed against mine.

I instantly opened my mouth and let him enter. As soon as his tongue met mine and I was hit by his beautiful taste, my heart painfully squeezed together. This was where I belonged. He lifted me up and positioned me on his lap, his hands wandering up my thighs and underneath my shirt. My hands stroked over his chest, and I buried them into his hair as he squeezed my behind and pressed me against him, which made me gasp. I pressed myself hard against his middle, followed by a deep groan. He could despise me all he wanted for this, but his body betrayed him.

I quickly pulled my shirt over my head, and our eyes locked. He looked so torn apart between guilt, anger, and lust, and it was killing me, but something in my eyes, or maybe my tears that were still running down my face, made him continue. He buried his face in my neck and kissed and bit it while I hastily grabbed between us and pulled down his underwear. I stroked him while moving my slip to the side and sunk down on him before he could have any second thoughts.