Loving Cameron

{6} Lonely Thoughts 

Luna's POV

I always tend to ignore my feelings. Any of my feelings in general. I just keep them locked away and show off a happy personality.

Until I'm by myself.

With myself, I just sit there in my own thoughts. I sit there with a hole in my heart. The cut getting deeper and deeper.

But as much as I hate it, I'd rather be not myself and be something I'm not than having to go through what I went through again.

I'll just stay innocent in my emotions but myself than be confronted. I hate confrontation, especially with myself.

Stepping out of my thoughts, I continue to hum, while playing my guitar trying to finish one of my songs that I've been working on.

Right now I'm alone in my room with gentle music playing in the background. One of my projects for my music class was to create a song, so that's what I'm trying to do right now.

For some reason, I'm really obsessed with writing breakup songs, even though I never went through a break up but eh, they sound good. At least in my opinion. I begin to sing what I have.

'I'm lying to my heart,
Said it didn't kill me inside.
A million feet apart,
Can't really say I'm feeling alright.
It's getting kinda hard for me.
But believe me when I said I tried.

Are you sure you wanna leave?
Cause I know you'll never feel sorry for me.
And i kinda wanna scream now,
Cuase Your making me feel weaker every week.

But please just make me feel somethin,
Please just stay a while for me,
We don't need to be touching,
Just tell me your missing me
But please just come me back for me
Please just back for me,'
(please don't hate on this :/ )

It kind of sounds cringe but that's okay.

I write many songs, but this one really touches my heart. They all do but to be honest but there's just something about this one. It's like denying what you're feeling to try to make yourself seem alright when you're really not and you just want your past lover to come back to you. To comfort you. Be there for you on your hardest times.

But, sometimes it can't be like that. You just have to move on and continue life. That's what I'm trying to do with my past and it has taken a toll on me and it's been a long time, but I'm still trying to get over it. And that's okay.

I continue this until I realize I can't get anymore words out of my head because of how unfocused I am. I let out a sigh and look around my room. It's 5 pm. right now so decide to take a nap.

Going into my closet, I get my pajamas which are black polka-dotted short shorts and matching tight tank that's ends just above my stomach. I stripped out of my blue mom jeans and white long sleeve to change into my pj's.

When I'm done, I walk towards my drawers which has my brush on top, grabbing it, I brush my hair back, split it into two sides then start braiding it.

Finishing up with that I go to my bed, slightly pull some of the cover off. Laying down I cover myself with the covers and relax. My body's aches bad right now from stress and work so hopefully this nap will help.