Blindspot

Chapter 4

"Ah... yes. I just feel like a fool. I hate looking like the fool. I worked so hard to make a name for myself and in one night, my reputation is tarnished and everything I had worked so hard for no longer matters. All anybody sees now is that stain when I hadn't even caused it in the first place! I'm just so angry!

Its not fair!

I got played.

I lost too!

I hurt too! Why is it only me that seems to be punished." Rebecca ranted and starts eating her ice cream aggressively. 

"Are you hurting because you are waiting for your husband to come back to you? 

"What? No! I am hurt because my friend betrayed me and my ex husband cheated on my ex friend. I am hurting because I lost everything because of him. I am hurting because it is unfair but I am definitively certain that I absolutely do not want him back." Rebecca exclaimed defensively as she put down her ice cream. 

"It sounds like you are just hurting yourself. Yes he did those things but wallowing in your pain and wishing for some cosmic justice that he can feel the hurt he caused you is never going to happen. It is a wonderful wish but at the end of the day. It is just a wish. He cheated, your friend betrayed you, these things happened already and they moved on with their lives while you're still stuck in yours. I'm not saying forgive and forget, or that you have to forgive and forget in order to move past something. I'm saying that you can be indifferent and then you can move on. Forgiveness is important but to people who are important in your life, who have enriched your life to become something better. If something is toxic, and its only every been that...what are you going to do? Just move on." 

Rebecca was stunned at how many words Freen spoke and how insightful her words were, she stared at Freen in shock as she thought about her words. Why had she isolated and secluded herself. She certainly do not want to get back with her husband. She hadn't done anything wrong. Why did she stop doing the things she loves and sentence herself in self exile...for whom? For Nop? For Winnie? Absolutely not! 

God damn. Freen is right. What am I waiting for? Why am I punishing myself for that bastard's mistakes. I am Rebecca Patricia Armstrong and I am one of Thailand's top actresses based on my ability and certainly not Winnie's. I have wasted enough time. Screw them. 

"Why do you eat like a child" said Freen as she used her thumb to wipe a bit of ice cream that was on the corner of Rebecca's lips. Freen's tender gesture broke Rebecca's thoughts and made her heart suddenly flutter. 

Rebecca muttered, "er.... thank you." She made a small cough and composed herself, "P'Freen, has anyone ever told you that you're very wise? You're very...mature."

"No." Freen was back to one word answers which made Rebecca smile again. Rebecca like talking to Freen, her perspective on life was so soothing and her words were like chicken noodle soup for her injured soul. Even the one word answers.

"P'Freen, my friend's betrayal didn't stop there. She not only had an affair with my ex-husband, she had also stole from me. Sometimes, I wonder if it was something that I did or was I simply too naïve to see it in the first place. Was the money too much of a temptation for her to break my trust? Or was it my friendship that was worthless to her?" 

"People place value on different things. Stop blaming yourself for other people's actions." 

"Do you think I'm stupid? An idiot for trusting?"

"Why would my opinion matter to you? And the answer is no." Freen finished the last bite of her ice cream as she added, "I like money. Money can change a lot in a person's life but it usually doesn't change who they are, it just accentuates their qualities.