My Eywa || AVATAR

10 🍃 ~Avoiding Him~ 🍃

   Some days have passed since I understood my feelings for Neteyam. And since then, I have been fervently avoiding him.
   I only saw him once more after that day, and it was hard for me to maintain composure and avoid getting distracted when I was near him.

   I was extremely afraid that someone would discover my feelings, so I decided to stay away from him until my attraction passed.

How is it that I feel this way for him?
A madness I can't understand, it's so grim,

I didn't even want to ponder, but it's true,
In different realities, we both grew,

Distinct species, diverse in form,
That's how I saw Neteyam's norm,

It's incoherent, absurd, and odd,
But above all, it's a pain, so flawed,

A truth my mind struggled to face,
Two distinct beings can't unite in grace.

   Now I understand why it took me so long to realize that I liked him:

   Neteyam and I have known each other since childhood. And in my eyes, he has always been a Na'vi, while I have always been human. It never crossed my mind to think of him in a romantic way. It seemed impossible, illogical, and unnatural.
   But now that it has happened, it's only painful.
That's why I came to the conclusion that it would be best to avoid meeting with Neteyam.

   So, today I could be at peace. Because I would go out, as usual, with Spider, Kiri, and Loak, to explore and have fun in the forest, knowing that Neteyam never accompanied us on these outings.

   But as I reached the meeting point, I saw three figures waiting for us in the distance.
   I swallowed nervously. Not only because Neteyam was here, and I feared he would wonder why I had been avoiding him, but also because I was even more afraid that the others would notice my foolish and irrational attraction to him.

   As I joined them, I tried desperately to avoid making eye contact.
   "Neteyam?" Spider was the first to speak. "Are you coming with us?" he asked genuinely curious.
   "Yeah" Lo'ak responded with a relaxed smile. "He was particularly interested in coming when he heard Della would also be joining us" Lo'ak looked at me, waiting for an explanation from my side.

   I just wished to disappear, to go back to the bio lab, and immerse myself in my history, biology, or any other topic that could serve as a refuge and had nothing to do with Neteyam.

   I looked at Kiri pleadingly for help. "Well, guys, let's go. We don't have all day," she rescued me from the awkward moment, dragging Lo'ak away and diverting his inquisitive gaze from me.

   I sighed in relief, until we started walking towards the meadows to rest, chat, and soak up the sun, and I noticed that Neteyam positioned himself next to me.
   Nervously, I wanted to pick up the pace, but he also quickened his steps. Giving up, I accepted walking alongside him since he didn't seem to want to talk to me anyways.

   After a while, he unexpectedly asked, "How have you been?"

   "Fine," I replied simply, avoiding eye contact, knowing that if I did, it would only worsen my turmoil.

   "Busy with Harper?" he asked.

   "Yes," I lied, knowing that he would want to know if I had been avoiding him due to a busy schedule.

   "I see," he said softly, almost in a whisper.

   I felt the temptation to look at him, to see those eyes I adored so much. I wanted to know what his expression would be right now.
   But with every fiber of my being, I resisted the urge to turn around and gaze upon his face.