12 🍃~ Confessions ~🍃

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That night in the cabin with Spider, as we shared dinner on the small table where we usually ate, surrounded by the cold, white walls of the laboratory, sitting in our uncomfortable desk chairs clearly designed for studying rather than the purposes Spider and I used them for, we had a conversation that will live forever in my memories.

There was a palpable joy in him that transcended the ordinary; happiness radiated from his whole being. I was no exception, with my excitement shining brightly on my face.
The events of the morning were still fresh in our minds.
The peculiar glow emanating from our faces had a well-defined cause: We had spent not only the entire morning but also the whole afternoon with them.
Them, who had turned our hearts upside down.

We joked and laughed, reminiscing about the funniest moments of the day, like when Tuk got frustrated with my mistakes, when Kiri deliberately wanted to lose in the competition just to wander off somewhere, how Lo'ak didn't seem to have a problem competing with Tuk and blatantly winning, or how it seemed like he and Neteyam would keep shooting arrows endlessly.

After a while, we delved into my epic and disastrous failures with the bow, and we laughed uncontrollably as we recalled how Neteyam tried to be the most patient being on Pandora, correcting my stance and aim over and over again, tirelessly.

Consequently finishing dinner and cleaning up the leftovers, we decided to settle back at the table, but this time both on the same side, facing away from the kitchen where Spider usually sat. Although we were a bit cramped, the closeness made us feel more comfortable. We wanted to prolong the enjoyment of the day's events, even though we had finished eating and the hour was growing late into the night.

We were immersed in our conversation, as time seemed to stand still, enjoying each other's company. This was our home, our little place in the universe. The only place where I felt safe and protected was in his presence. We were simply two souls sharing the tranquility we provided each other. We were each other's safe haven.
We could listen to each other with complete trust, without fear of being judged or criticized.

   With a radiant smile, Spider explained to me in great detail what an excellent teacher he had been to Kiri, and how she absorbed all the information in a very fruitful way

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With a radiant smile, Spider explained to me in great detail what an excellent teacher he had been to Kiri, and how she absorbed all the information in a very fruitful way. I couldn't help but be captivated by the passion with which he spoke when it came to Kiri.
I simply listened to him with a smile, as he proudly boasted about his archery skills and how he would have surely beaten Neteyam if it weren't for the time constraint.


Following several minutes, speaking less hysterically, our nerves began to calm down, and Spider, with his serious, unreadable face, looked at me enigmatically.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I've seen how you look at him," he replied, expecting my response.

Instantly, I feared that he was referring to what I was thinking. "I don't know what you're talking about, skawng," I said, trying to hide my nervousness.

"Don't try to deny it," he laughed. "You know you can count on me," he added, smiling sweetly.

It was useless to deny it. My brother had discovered that I liked Neteyam. And then panic took hold of my body. "Am I that obvious? Can you tell just by the way I look at him?" I asked, horrified, my blood rushing quickly to my cheeks, causing them to turn a much rosier shade than usual.

Spider couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry to inform you that yes, just by looking at you, it's clear that Neteyam makes your legs turn to jelly," he said, apologetic but with a mischievous smile on his face.
"Nevertheless," Spider stopped, looking into the distance, "don't worry, just by seeing the way Neteyam looks at you," he paused again as if recalling something, "it's evident that he feels the same way about you," he redirected his eyes towards me, fully expecting my reaction.

My heart started beating faster, much faster. I couldn't help but get excited, blush intensifying on my cheeks, and a silly smile forming on my face.
Did Neteyam feel the same way about me?

But then reality woke me up from the dream. It was useless to think about it.
First, I was relying on Spider's judgment, which was definitely not the most reliable source when it came to this subject.
And second, what was the point? Even if it were true, nothing could happen between us beyond friendship. And that was certain. I mean, we couldn't even breathe the same air.

So I looked up, my face dull, without the slightest spark of joy reflected in it. And then I remembered how he and Kiri had been getting closer lately, and I wondered if maybe Spider and I were in the same situation.

"I've also noticed how you look at her," I said, directing my eyes at him without moving my head, fear of his response immobilizing every muscle. "At Kiri," I added, now with courage, my head following the direction of my gaze.

In an instant, his face changed dramatically, revealing an expression of complete surprise, as if his deepest secret had been unveiled. I must admit, his adorable reaction made me smile with tenderness.

To see my brother, the hyperactive and wild one, so captivated by Kiri, stirred butterflies in my stomach. His sudden mood swings when it came to her were possibly one of the most charming things my eyes have witnessed.

Spider looked down and finally smiled. "It seems like we've both fallen for the Sullys," he teased before looking at me, completely defeated.

My gaze wandered off into the distance again as I said, "It seems so," followed by a long, sad sigh.

It was a fleeting moment when Spider and I confessed our deepest feelings. Me, captivated by Neteyam, and him, in love with Kiri. However, that moment remained suspended in time, like a bubble that never burst. We never mentioned it again.

Possibly because we were too shy to confess our most intimate feelings, but more likely because it was easier to pretend that we were just friends with the Na'vi, rather than facing reality. To confront the fact that they belonged with the Na'vi, and we belonged with the humans.

That's how we decided to move forward, ignoring our feelings, pretending that everything was just an innocent friendship. An illusion that allowed us to keep going.

~~~~~~~~~~~-~~-~~~~~~~~~~

Promises are meant to be kept! Here I am, delivering on Chapter 12.

Don't stop showing love to the story! I hope you're enjoying it!!!

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