TW: suicidal thoughts, 'low mood', mention of sh, depression, anxiety| Again. Idk I just get so depressed at the simplist of things and it's so fucking annoying. Like 1 incy little thing happened and now I am so depressed and I want to end it because I feel like everyone hates me, and literally no one except me knows what the fuck I'm talking about coz I don't wanna make the person feel bad.
Anyways this time it's Sodo and y/n is like 13-15
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I sat in my bed and a notification popped up from wattpad. I then tapped on it and read the thingy someone had posted and I sighed. I quickly undid the simple thing I did and debated on whether or not to answer the question. Then I sat in bed and could stop thinking about it for the slowest five minutes of my life. I kept reading different books, different smuts to try change my mood in the quickest way I could (ik it sound dumb) but I just felt down. 'Everyone hates you, you dumb bitch. No ones going to read your stupid book, your view are already halved since your break.' The voices spit at me with venom in their words. I sigh and ignore them but I just wanna kill myself again. I'm so dumb, the littlest thing happens and and I'm just so down.
"You okay?" Sodo asks as he sits beside me. He was a demon that had been visiting for the last few months, I don't remember when it started but he us definitely the bestist friend I have right now, and he gives cuddles. "Yep, I'm fine." I lie and do my typical, I can't be arsed smile. "You sure?" He asks and I avoid eye contact with him. I nod my head and then get upset. "What's wrong darling?" He asks and I shake my head and lean into his touch. "Nothing, its dumb." I say and he wraps his arm around me. "It's not dumb if it's getting your mood down like this." He says. "So basically this happened ___." I I show him the thing.
"And what do you think is going to be a result?" He asks me. "Everyone is going to stop reading my book." I say and he sighs. "No there not, people love your book. Remember when you were struggling and so many people commented or dm'd you saying how much they liked it?" He says and I nod. "I just wanna cut myself again, for no fucking reason. Its like my arm is calling for it." I say and start excessively scratching it, getting as deep as possible. "Stop that. Your not going to harm yourself. Please pass me your blades." He says and you shake your head and he holds your hands to stop you. "No, i don't want to." I sigh. "And I don't want you to cut yourself." He says and I sigh. "Well I want to and your not my dad." I say, "I should hope not." He says and we both laugh.
"Gimme the blades or no cuddles." He says and I look at him with my death glare and he raises his eyes brows. I sigh and then grab all four of them out of their different places and hand them to him. "Thank you." He says and then they disappear into nothing. "Cuddles?" I say and he nods. I shuffle further down on my pillow (let's pretend I'm not I'm a hell of a lot of pain from sun burn) he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me into his chest and I hold onto his top and play with it between my fingers, like I would with my own when I'm anxious.
"What's wrong?" He asks, "The world." I say, "Why can you bring me back with you, I don't want to be on here anymore." I say and start crying. "I can and you know that. And I won't let you take actions to come see me yourself. Im always watching over you in a different way." He says, "Try and stop me." I mumble and turn away from him. "I'm sorry, I just- you don't understand how much I don't wanna be here anymore. I wanna go to your home, with you. Atleast promise me you'll be here for me always." I say and he nods.
"I'll always be here for you. And when you naturally come and see me, in a couple decades then you can live with me, in my house and you can meet my family." He says and I smile. I turn back around and hug him and then he wraps his arms around me again and spoons me. I then fall asleep
