Omg, I can't do this. It just gets worse, all the time. I'm sick of this, same shit different day. Anyways more angst
TW: sh, suicide attempt, ed, depression
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You were sat on your bathroom floor cutting your arms like usual. No one in the ministry knew, you had been doing it for about 4 months and your arms were almost dripping at the moment. (This next part is according to a different book). You dud one cut, and went deeper hoping for some relief and then some white stuff bubbled out onto your arm. Confused you started panicking and felt slightly sick, and started to get dizzy. You went too deep. You didn't want to tell anyone, and you were sick of every thing anyways. You did it again but longer this time and the stuff kept leaking out. You knew you were going to die right now. You didn't even get to leave a note, you were leaving everyone, never going to see them again. You never thought about that until this moment, but you didn't want to hurt them by letting them know you tried to leave. But you didn't want to die either, so you shouted. "HELP, SOMEONE HELP ME." Knowing you would pass out if you tried to stand up. You heard your bedroom door open and the bathroom door was locked. "Break it, break through." You shout to the people and then you hear the door frame crack as someone barged into it.
The door opened and you felt yourself passing out. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go too deep. Help me, I don't want to die." You say as Sodo and Mountain walk into the room. They gasp and then Mountain reaches down and picks you up and they run to the medical. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." You say and Mountain nods, "Your goingnto be okay, were hear look." Mountain says and then shouts, "Help me, someone help them, now, right fucking now." And people rush over with a bed. He lays you down and they start working on you while you then fall unconscious.
When you wake up your in a room and Mountain is holding your un-injured hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." You say immediately and he looks up to you. "I know, it's okay, your okay." He says and hugs you. "What happened?" You ask, "Well the doctors said that you might have nerve damage, you cut really deep. When did you start cutting? Your arms are full." He says and you get upset. "4 months or so." You say and he nods and starts crying. "Okay, you can come to us. Sodo went through your room and bathroom and took all of your sharp objects and blades. Next time you feel like it, please come to one of us. Any of us." He says and you nod. "Can you get the doctor?" You ask and he does. The doctor assess you and you have a tremor in your arm and hand, and gripping things will be difficult and you'll need physio therapy.
You are then released and go to Mountains room. "Cuddles?" He asks and you nod. You cuddle in his bed while watching a movie and then realize you haven't eaten in about 5 days. You were going to eat after you had finished cutting but then you were unconscious for about 10 hours. "Are you hungry? Your stomach is growling." Mountain says and you sigh. "I haven't eaten have I. I've been asleep." You say and he nods, "Good point. Want to go eat?" He asks and you think about it, "I'm not really hungry." You say and he laughs, "Yes you are, come on. Let's go eat." He says and you sigh and get up. Obviously your arm is heavily bandaged up and it is shaking and weak. "Does everyone know?" You ask and he shakes his head. "Not yet, I'll message them now so they all know." He says and you nod and he grabs his phone and texts them. You hear a lot of pings and then he sighs. "They all want to talk to you, make sure your okay." He says and you nod and tear up. "Tell them to go to the kitchen, we're going there anyway." You say and he nods and then you walk down.
When you walk in Swiss stands up and pulls you into a big hug. You feel Rain join the hug, then Cumulus. Then then pull away and you hug everyone individually and then you all sit down. "I didn't, didn't mean to do *it* as deep as I did. I didn't want to die, well I did, but then I realised I didn't and shouted for help. I am fine, im not going to do it again. And Mountain said I can go to him if I want to cut myself." You say with a shakey voice. And then they nod. "You can come to us as well, anytime. Wake us up, interrupt us from anything." Swiss says and everyone nods in agreement. And then Aether starts crying. Aether was one of your closest friends and he feels guilty he didn't notice.
You get better and then recover from your Ed. The end
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Idek what this is
