When New York and London Collide

Chapter 34

Chase Kennedy

"Kiss me."

That night, I kissed like I never kissed before. It was a mix of passion and longing. Even now as I grazed my lips, I could still remember her taste. Vanilla, small hint of raspberry from her lip balm. It made me realise, I never wanted to kiss another girl other than her. Now or ever.

Since that day, we've definitely spent more time together. We didn't talk about the kiss, and I didn't force her to talk about it either. Part of me understood that she might have been confused while the other part was afraid she would tell me that it was a mistake. So I left it as inconclusive until she decides to bring it up. For now, I was happy to just spend time with her.

But I couldn't help but wonder, what was happening to me? For my entire life I swore off the word "love" and anything associated with it. I convinced myself that I was content being single and that I didn't need love in my life to give it purpose. Yet here I am, a month after meeting Celine Haufftner, the girl who I once couldn't stand, swearing off the lips of other women. All because I kissed her once. I felt like I was going insane, and yet I didn't even care. Sanity could go fuck itself for all I cared.

I didn't want to believe it at first, when the physical attraction started to become more than... well, physical. When I started caring about what happened to her, when my heart broke a little more every time she was in pain, the way my heart danced when she was joyful and cried when she was sad. It hit me, I was falling in love. I couldn't help it, but I knew I didn't want to stop.

My sappy thoughts, exactly the ones I swore I'd never have after I witnessed my mother and fathers messy divorce, flew away when the doorbell rang. Liam had wanted to catch up, like old times. With what he did to Celine, I was tempted to tell him no. He was acting like a sad little puppy when really, he brought it upon himself. But, we've had years of friendship. I at least owed him a catch up. That didn't mean I had to enjoy it.

"Hi." He said. I gave him a friendly smile, as friendly as I could muster, and let him in.

"So, do you know how Celine is doing?" He finally asked. We'd been playing basketball while he had been beating around the bush on his career, Jane, who I really couldn't give two shits about, and other random things happening in his life. I engaged, but I also knew he had other motives than to talk about his upcoming jobs and child.

"She's fine." I said. I didn't want to say anything more. It wasn't my place to do so. If he wanted to know about Celine's well-being, he could ask her himself and she could speak for herself.

"Is she still upset?" He continued. I thought back on the way she smiled, how happy she sounded whenever we talked, the way she engaged with Ella like nothing happened. Yet even then, I couldn't even say for sure that she was okay. We've gotten closer, but I could feel that a part of her must still be hurting in ways I'd never be able to imagine.

"She's getting over it in her own way." I said. He didn't probe further after noticing how vague my answers were, and I was glad. I hated how he was acting like he still cared about her when he clearly didn't. If he did, he never would have slept with another woman in the first place.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I excused myself. I needed a break.

By the time I came back, Liam went on about some other mundane details about his life and I listened. There wasn't much to say to him. And that was how the rest of our "catch up" went.

An hour went by and Liam told me he had somewhere to be.

"Maybe we could catch up again next time?" He told me as I saw him out. I wasn't the kind to make empty promises, so all I said was a simple maybe.

Maybe I'd catch up maybe I wouldn't. But chances are, I really fucking wouldn't.