When New York and London Collide

Chapter 46

Celine Haufftner

Maybe he was right. I knew I was falling for Chase, even maybe already fallen. But what if I got hurt once more? Would I be able to survive it? Was it worth it to take a chance, fall in love, and bet that the odds would fall in my favour? I didn't know, and it made me feel lost. I had no direction, and there wasn't a roadmap to guide me when it came to love.

Leaving, I commenced Plan Laze in Bed the moment my feet crossed the threshold of my hotel room. I spent the rest of the day in the hotel bed, ordering a buttload of room service, and shoving my face with ice cream while playing my one of my favourite movies, Clueless. Because, even if I'm not an American high school teen in a romantic show with apprehension on who I loved, I was clueless. About what to do, and how I should face the growing feelings of love in my chest. Having your heart broken three times, it's scary going into another because of the fear of the fourth heart break.

In the midst of my little dilemma, I heard the doorbell ring when I walked over. I hadn't ordered anything else, so I was mildly surprised. Then again, judging by my excessive ordering, I might have gotten one or two more items and just forgotten.

"I didn't -"

I came face to face with my dilemma itself, only it was in the form of a god-sculpted face and body, terribly good looking brown hair and killer all black outfit. He was my weakness as much as he was my dilemma.

"Chase."

I had avoided him since visiting Liam, which, judging by the time, was one whole day. He had texted me a few times after his convention ended, but I ignored it. I needed time to clear my head, figure out what I really wanted. If he was what I really wanted, and if I was ready to take on the risks of getting myself into another relationship. Yet here he is. Playing dirty by tipping my scales in his favour purely just by showing up. It sucked, but the thumping of my heart at the mere sight of him felt like the answer to all my problems. He was what I really wanted, I just didn't want to admit it. He provided me with everything I wanted. Comfort, love, safety. But I felt all of that with Liam too, and look where that got me.

You could be wrong this time.

"You're avoiding me," he whispered. My body guarded the door, mirroring the way my heart was equally as guarded. I feared that if I let him in, I'd succumb to the continuous thumping of my heart and surrender completely. I couldn't have that, not after contemplating over enough ice cream to fill a warehouse.

"I was busy," I lied. He hummed and took a step closer while I lulled my beating heart to get it to calm down. Of course, it didn't. Traitor.

"Feels like you're avoiding me on purpose, trouble," he whispered, leaning into my ear. Shaking out a breath a shook my head. It was not entirely a lie. I was avoiding my feelings, not him. Though in this case, feelings and Chase seemed synonymous.

"You're angry? Hit me until you're satisfied. You're sad? My shoulder is yours to use, to cry on. You're annoyed? Tell me, and I'll do anything I can to remedy it. You're scared? My arms are the safest place you can be in, and they'll always be open for you. You're confused? I'll be provide you with certainty. But don't ever avoid me. You feel something, we fucking feel it together. When you're mine, you don't go through anything alone." My traitorous heart melted and I caved, moving my body aside slightly as a sign for him to enter. How could I not, after everything he said.

Once again, in the battle between my head and my heart, my heart came out on top.

"I'm sorry," I rubbed my arms, trying to use my body to block the mess behind me. Empty ice cream tubs, take out containers, room service trays, I was a hot mess and the scene behind me reflected it as clear as day.

"Celine," he sighed. I took a step forward and looked up.

"I just...I visited Liam," I confessed. He looked at me funnily, and I replied to his silent question, "I needed...closure. From him, from our relationship. And then he started telling me things. Like how I can't be sure if my next relationship will end up...well, with me not being hurt." I exhaled deeply. It felt good to let it out, but I was also scared.

All this time, maybe my feelings had been one sided. Unreciprocated. I didn't doubt that he liked me, but did he love me? Like and love, two similar words but there was a colossal difference in its meanings.

"Do you love me?" He asked. He stared deep into my eyes, it felt like my soul was bare for him. Hell, the way he looked at me, I might as well be naked. It was like he peeled away every piece of defence, left my heart raw and vulnerable, and hit it where it hurt most.

There's no hiding now Celine, you know the answer.

He stepped closer, which I didn't think was physically possible. At this proximity, I could do more than breathe in his minty and slightly musky scent. I could feel his hot breath, hear his slightly off beat breathing, notice even the smallest movement of his eyes, the way they flickered from my left eye to my right. One more step, and we'd collide.

"Do you?" I threw the question back. I knew I loved him. I knew since the day he rescued me and no place else felt safer than being in his hold. But, like every other girl, I loved reassurance more than anything. And to be reassured, I needed to hear him say it. Three words, eight letters, and I would be completely his. All he needed was to say it.

"You," he tilted me chin up so our faces were closer, and I felt every exhale on my lips. Like the ghost of a beautiful and longing kiss.

"You are my confirmation that beautifully dangerous things exist in this world. Like the stars in the sky that illuminate yet are deadly up close, like roses with thorns that could cut as deep as knives, you are everything I should stay away from yet I can't," he took a breath. "You are my heaven, hell, and everything in between trouble. No matter how much I try not to, my heart always brings me back to you. Every moment I'm with you, I catch my breath and wish time would stop. Whenever you're away, I count the time to when I see you again. And even though I don't know what love is, not even remotely, the thumping in my heart, the need to protect you whenever and wherever, the want to hold and touch you, the smile that forms even unconsciously whenever you enter a room, might suggest otherwise."

I felt a tear drip down my cheek and onto the corner of my mouth. I'd received confessions before. I'd even received expensive gifts that one would have to work two hundred lives to afford. Yet, Chase only needed to say a few words to capture my heart entirely. Even though my heart already belonged to him, his words had just locked it up in a cage and thrown away the key. My heart was no longer mine, I feared.

"Chase," I started. He brought his finger across my bottom lip and leaned in, breath against my neck and mouth next to my ear.

"You once asked me why I don't believe in love. I'm happy to report, I do. I just didn't believe it before because I hadn't met you. But now that I have, hell, I don't just believe in love trouble. I am in love. Knee deep in it, I'm afraid," he finished. Pushing back, not giving a single damn that my cheeks were stained with tears. He had been so vulnerable with me, despite living his life avoiding relationships, avoiding love.

"I love you too." Was all I could muster before he pulled my jaw and seared his mark on my lips. Our lips moved in perfect unison, like two pieces of a puzzle that finally found each other.

"I grew up thinking the world revolves around me. I'm spoiled. I'm not a gentle demure girl. Are you absolutely sure you love me?" I whispered against his lips that now curved into a gentle smile.

"Lucky for you trouble, I'm willing to revolve around the world for you, and more."

Grinning, I tugged his hair down and turned out loving kiss into one of passion.

From then, I was his.